Today I felt it.
I felt the snap.
I would like to say that I have controlled it but I don’t think I have.
I think maybe I can though.
I put the babies to bed at 10am and listened as I always do to their monitor as they battled against sleep.
I think Esther actually fell asleep quite quickly. William took the best part of an hour.
I sat and listened.
I was doing other things but I was also listening.
I could feel the bubbling beneath as my nerves began to fray.
Then I felt the snap and I had to stop listening.
I checked for mail.
I considered going out in the garden.
I settled for shutting myself in the bathroom, washing machine on, and vigorously cleaning my teeth.
I know I need to tell David that I need a break soon.
But he is too busy for that.
He is working this weekend.
But I will be alright.
I’ll keep us busy.
I can feel it now though.
It is like a nervous energy has taken over my body.
Has anyone else ever felt like this?
Five minutes of peace over
The boy he sleeps
But now the girl is awake
No rest time for Mummy today x
All the time lovely, all the time! If it helps, the first eight-ten months were easy; I think I was still running on adrenaline. Once ten months hit and mobility was full on, I ran out of patience. Thank God I bought a playpen, because sometimes he had to go in it for me to sit in the toilet with the extractor fan on, just for a minute or two.
I can’t imagine you feeling like that. You always seem so calm, so measured, so patient. Thank you x