So today was supposed to be a day for bonding with Matilda, taking her to the Kent Baby and Toddler Show to show her off. Instead we are a household of illness and a mummy full of fear. How am I going to cope with three children under two on my own?
On Friday I was feeling bright and confident. I told my best friend I was ready to take back the reins from Daddy and be alone each working day with all our children. I really was feeling positive and certain I could do it.
Then Friday night Daddy started to feel ill. Saturday night and Esther was ill. Sunday morning William. A stomach bug it would seem as entered our house and ripped my positive thinking to shreds. I only hope that I am not next in line to get it. And I am praying for it not to reach Matilda.
Now instead of feeling refreshed and relaxed and raring to go, I feel exhausted and emotional. Instead of feeling organised and ready for the day, I just feel terrified.
Esther was so sick on Saturday night. Our house is full of wet washing and we have no spare bedding left. William has just pooed through his last pair of pyjamas and so is asleep in an old pair of Esther’s. There is nothing clean and dry left so I am hoping beyond hope that no one is ill tonight.
Daddy ended up sleeping downstairs with Esther last night so he could be there for her when she was sick. Consequently he did not get much sleep for himself.
I was up every two hours with Matilda, feeding and changing her nappies.
Today Matilda cannot settle unless she is suckling. I think that her tummy may be hurting too.
Esther and William have been very emotional since Matilda came. They have had their Daddy’s undivided attention for the last two weeks and still their days have been filled with tears and tantrums. How on earth are they going to cope with the times it is just them and me, and I am dividing my attentions between three?
Tomorrow the plan is this
Daddy will get up with Esther and William, give them their breakfast and get them dressed. I have already laid out their clothes for the day.
I will use this time to get myself and Matilda ready, sort the washing, get the twins cots ready for nap time, eat my breakfast, prepare the twins lunch and pack the change bag for the day.
At 9.45 Daddy will help me load all the babies into the car and we will go to our music class which is from 10.30 – 11.15.
We will get home at 12.00 when we will have lunch and then watch something short on TV before Esther and William go down for their nap. They usually nap for between an hour and 90 minutes.
At 13.30 we will have a drink and a little snack.
At 14.30 we will go out for a walk or play in the garden as it is going to be sunny. I think we will probably play in the garden as I am yet to go out walking on my own with all three of them.
At 17.00 Daddy will come and play for a bit with Esther and William. I will prepare their tea which they will eat with Daddy whilst I get everything ready for bedtime and sort more washing, tidy up and sort out everyone’s clothes for the next day.
Daddy will give the twins their bath before we all have a snuggle before bedtime.
Sounds so easy when you write it down but that has not included any feeding of Matilda or what we will actually do in the afternoon.
It does not convey times like this evening where Matilda has basically fed non stop from 5pm to 8.30pm and I have not been able to help with toddler tea or very much of bedtime. What do I do tomorrow? Not feed the baby? Ignore the toddlers for 3 hours? How am I supposed to make this work?
Before Matilda was born I was convinced that these early days would be easy. Now I am not so sure.
Duing her first two weeks I thought she was going to be easy to slot in to our already established routines now I know that my assumption was wrong.
Being a house of sickness has totally taken the wind from my sails and I am not certain I know how to get going again.
Any words of advice or just of encouragement before the new day dawns would be very much appreciated.
And I will let you know tomorrow if we all survive!!