Dear Esther and William: It Is Not You, It’s Me

Dear Esther and William

What funny little children you are. How you have exploded my world in every way imaginable.

Born too soon, in hospital too long.

I should know better than to complain about my lot.

I know that I sound so ungrateful most days as I moan about your lack of sleep and your fighting but I know in my heart that it is me, not you!

In truth you are both beautiful toddlers exploring your boundaries and pushing the limits. You are on a steep learning curve and looking to me to guide you.

I am not doing very well and I am sorry.

Tonight I have had a long overdue chat with your Daddy who has, as always, sorted me out.

He has not told me anything that I did not already know.

Just reminded me of what is important and what is not.

What I want to be like and what I do not.

How I want you to think of me and how I do not.

The kind of mummy I want to be and more importantly the kind I do not.

Things are going to be better from now on. You will see.

The highs will be higher and so will the lows.

A rising tide lifts all boats.

There will be more crafting, more laughter, more stories and songs, more bubbles, more smiles, more cuddles and kisses.

Less shouting, less crying, less laying the blame.

We will work through this challenging phase together and we will come out together the other side.

I will pop up your pyjamas no matter how many times you get out of them.

I will referee your fights.

I will mend broken books.

I will help you get to grips with your world and with each other.

I will teach you how to tidy your toys each time you tip them all over the floor.

I will be firm when you lash out in tantrum but will try to be understanding too.

I will know that when you throw food meal time is over for at least the time being.

I will listen to you more.

I will read every time you ask, I know that everything else can wait.

I will not worry about the state of our house, even when we do have people coming round.

The most important thing is you.

It has always been and always will be you.

I am your Mummy and I believe in you.

And I hope you can believe in me too.

I love you Esther and William.

I honestly and truly do.

Love You!

3 thoughts on “Dear Esther and William: It Is Not You, It’s Me

  1. Aww that’s very lovely. Don’t be too harsh on yourself though. Having toddlers is pressurising, exhausting and tiring. It is only normal to have off days. In my opinion what matters is to recognise it was an off day and make a conscious to make the next one an “on” day x

  2. Beautiful post and it sounds like the terrible twos are in full swing! I am finding one toddler tiring enough so I can only imagine what two is like. These sound a lot like my new years resolutions but I think you are a great mum and all three are lucky to have you x x

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