One week ago I was on a train to London.

Me and my memories of my magical Matilda Mae.

Somedays I feel like she was never here.

Most days I cannot believe she is gone.

As a busy mummy of toddler twins

I do not get much time to grieve

It is often all I can do to get out of bed and breathe

This train was taking me to freedom

24 hours of nothing but memories of my Matilda Mae.

A gentle walk along the river

With a friend who I love more everyday

A friend who misses her Matilda too

And knows some of the path that lays before me

It was nice to talk and share and cry

It feels so good to cry and for it to be okay.

After a delicious lunch

I make my way to my safe haven

My sanctuary for the remainder of my stay.

As I approach The Cavendish

The friendly doorman catches my eye

I think he senses I am uneasy

He comes over to greet me with a smile

Takes my bags

Engages me in conversation

And delivers me safely to the reception desk

Where it is quick and easy to check in.

The reception staff are delightful

They welcome me to the hotel

They explain the things I need to know

And hand to me my room key.

I travel in the lift

Up to the eighth floor

Where my room of remembrance awaits me.

I open the door and enter the room.

It is lovely.

Light and bright

Neutral colours and tones.

This is a room to stay in and enjoy.

A leather sofa

An arm chair

A desk

A table and chair

Within seconds I know what I will do in each part of the room

Where I will read my rarely purchased magazines

Where I will eat my three course dinner

Where I will sit to watch daytime TV

Where I will work on my laptop

Where I will lie in the silence

With my memories of Tilda holding me tight

The room is perfect

For a night in for one

There is more space than I need

And yet I know what to do with every nook, space and cranny.

I am going to make the most of my time.

It is not long before I realise

I have not even looked at the bathroom

And what a bathroom to miss!

The walk in shower is just wonderful

And I cannot wait to get in.

I plan to make the most of it all.

A relaxing bath in the evening

An invigorating shower in the morning.

This is a bathroom to enjoy at my leisure

With no running commentary while I go to the loo!!

This is my space

My quiet welcoming environment

My room with a view

Though I know I will not be looking out of the window

I will be looking inwards

To my memories and my heart

This is my time

My selfish selfish time

To think of nothing and no one

But my Matilda Mae.

Once settled into the room

I began to feel very tired

I decided to relax on the bed which was just so comfortable

I could have had coffee from the Nespresso machine in my room

But instead I enjoyed the complimentary mineral water

Which was really rather nice.

I decided to go out for a walk to wake myself up

I collected my spa products that I had ordered from Boots

And went chocolate shopping in Fortnum and Mason.

I was really tempted to walk through Green Park to Buckingham Palace

But instead retreated to the safety and security

The luxury of my executive king room.

Once again I snuggled up on the bed

And allowed my senses to drift

To loving Matilda

The tears were falling

My heart was breaking

But it felt so good to know that I would not be disturbed

That this time was mine and I could truly cry if I wanted to

And I did want to so so much

I wanted to think back over precious times with my beautiful daughter

I wanted to remember her

The feel of her

The sound of her

I wanted to remember her

And I wanted to cry.

I have no idea how long I lay there

Curled up in a ball like a hedgehog

Just as she used to do.

My body was aching with missing her

My heart was breaking with loving her

But it is what I needed to do.

Before I knew it the restaurant was open and it was time to order dinner

Scallops to start

Followed by chicken roulade

And finished with a dark chocolate mousse

The food came quickly, was served traditionally

And tasted out of this world!

When the restaurant called to ask me if everything had been okay with my meal

I could reply honestly that it had been more than okay

It had been truly delicious.

Encouraged by my scrumptious dinner

I placed my room service breakfast order

And it was wonderful eating it in the morning

Setting myself up for an emotional reunion

And a busy day at Brit Mums Live.

I had dinner early in the evening

Because I had a night of pampering planned

My soak in the bath was glorious

I read a slightly soggy magazine

I slept well in the king size bed

Though still woke up at 6am

Part excitement for the day ahead

And partly knowing that the twins often start to wake at this time.

I enjoyed a lazy morning though

Who knows how long it will be until I get one of those again?

I did not get dressed til almost 11

I wanted to hide in my haven forever

I did not want to leave my lovely room.

Perfectly situated on prestigious Jermyn Street, in the heart of Mayfair parallel to Piccadilly in Central London, The Cavendish London, a 4 Star Deluxe hotel is a welcome calm in the heart of London.

Not only is the hotel an ideal base for those seeking the thrill of London’s theatreland, world class shopping and restaurants, it is an oasis of calm where guests can escape, relax and unwind when in London. Whether staying for business or pleasure the hotel’s 230 contemporary bedrooms provide guests with a warm, tranquil environment to escape to.

If you are looking for somewhere special to stay in London please do check out The Cavendish Hotel.

It is a place where memories are made and treasured.

I had one night complimentary stay at The Cavendish in return for an honest review.