Since yesterday I have felt numb
I have made it through the day without a tear
And now I am broken
It is too hard without you here
Nothing feels right anymore
I don’t know how to fix things
The pictures in my mind of how things should be
Are too strong and colourful
Real life just pales in comparison
How can anything ever be bright and beautiful again
Now you are not here.
I can’t get you back
It is a physical impossibility
So why do I keep on thinking of ways to try.
Nothing can ever bring you back.
I am so angry Baby Tilda
It is all so cruel and unfair.
An old man said to me today
“We all have our family tragedies
But losing a baby so young, so suddenly
That is something else.”
It is unbearable is what it is.
It is a constant piercing pain.
It is a need to hide away and shout from the roof tops all at the same time.
I am so angry that you are gone
Snatched from our family in the dark of the night
I feel like the dusk has never quite lifted
In six long months
In no time at all
Everything I see is in shades of grey
There is no beauty in anything
Not without you here.
I miss you Baby Tilda.
My Matilda Mae.
Our cheeky little monkey.
I think your brother and sister can feel it too x
They were cuddling their monkeys so tight today
I am sure they were thinking about Mummy’s little monkey in the sky.
We love you Baby Tilda.
Our Matilda Mae x