Growing a Rainbow: Meet The Midwife

By the time I met the midwife I was already 10 weeks pregnant.

My midwife is new to me as we moved house not long after Tilda was born.

I am so pleased to say that she is lovely and I liked her instantly as soon as we met.

At this ‘Booking In’ meeting there was also a trainee midwife present and I really liked her too.

I felt comfortable talking to them both.

One of the big changes from my pregnancy with Tilda was that the midwife did not ask me to fill in any forms before we met.

She went through every question with me and we really talked about all the different points.

We talked for a long time about IVF and falling pregnant with Esther and William.

We talked for a long time about the illness I suffered while pregnant with them and my experience of preterm birth.

We talked about those early days with Esther and William both in NICU and at home.

I talked and I felt like I was genuinely being listened to and that the midwife wanted to know all about me and my children.

We talked about how wonderful it was that I had gone on to conceive Tilda naturally and I told them all about my lovely easy pregnancy, water labour and Tilda’s birth.

We talked and talked right up to and including all about Tilda’s death and how we have been coping.

The miscarriage.

You know that your story is a sad one when the professionals in the room cannot help but cry.

After a moment of sadness and me getting myself together and ready to carry on

We focused on the hope inside of me

The beginnings of our rainbow

My urine tests were all clear

Blood pressure very low, but it always is

Weight good

Height above average

Low BMI

Bloods were taken, again this was new for me as with Tilda all blood was taken at the hospital

The midwife told me that she would like me to be under Consultant Care

I agreed that I thought this would be best too

It does not mean that I seem my midwife any less

But it does mean that I get the extra support and reassurance from the hospital that I need

I have chosen to have this baby at Pembury Hospital

Not the William Harvey in Ashford where our other children were born

Although the William Harvey were amazing for us

Especially with Esther and William

It is also where we had to go the night that Tilda died

I think it will be best for us and baby

To start this life somewhere new

It does mean that there is no mid wife led unit at the hospital

But I am happy with that

I know that I can have warm water therapy without getting in a birthing pool

And I know I can still have the active labour that I want

All being well

I really liked this midwife appointment

I felt happy that my fears were being listened to

And my concerns addressed

I feel like I am in good, confident, compassionate hands

The midwife was very clear in making sure that I knew

She is not just there to look after me medically

But she also wants to support me emotionally and physically

She made me understand that I can make as many appointments as I want

As many as I need for own reassurance

Piece of mind

I feel like this is someone who understands loss

Who also understands my strong want and need for a new baby

And that I want this baby to be exactly that

Somebody new

Not a replacement for Tilda

No baby will ever replace our Baby Tilda

growing rainbow

11 thoughts on “Growing a Rainbow: Meet The Midwife

  1. It sounds like it was a very positive meeting. The first midwifery team I met were not supportive at all, to the point where we switched to a different hospital and the midwives there were much better, absolutely brilliant women, especially when Pip needed to go into hospital 5 days after birth.
    Glad to hear you’re happy with your midwife xx

  2. I have followed your blog for a year and never realised we lived near one another!!My children were born in the William Harvey too.I live in Brookland,having moved from Belfast 8 years ago.I am so pleased to read about your pregnancy and I’m keeping everything crossed for you.My best friend in Belfast lost her 3rd baby at 9 months to SIDS and I think you are doing such a fantastic job raising awareness.It sounds very much like this rainbow baby is indeed a gift from Tilda.I really hope you can start to enjoy the pregnancy…holding another baby in your arms will no doubt be bitter sweet but I am confident that it will help ease a little bit of your pain.
    Claire xx

  3. It sounds like a very positive first meeting Jennie and I hope that the professionals continue to support you as well as they have initially. I think a good midwife is so important in any case, but especially in yours. It sounds like you are in great hands. xx

  4. I’m so happy to read this and God Bless that lovely midwife. I’m so happy you are getting some of the support that you need. x x x x

  5. Jennie, I am so pleased that you felt listened to and the midwife was sensitive to your needs. I am a midwife and my hurt jumps for joy everytime I realise again that we can make such a positive difference to a woman’s experience of her care.
    Just also wanted to let you know that we not only share the same due date, I am also expecting a baby girl.
    Much love
    Cecilia x

  6. I’m so pleased to hear that you have a lovely supportive midwife. I really do think this will make a difference. With both my children I suffered from horrendous morning sickness which hospitalised me with Isobel. My midwife with Archie was brisk and abrupt, but my midwife with Isobel was lovely and I always felt like she had time to listen and help. It really made me feel like I was in good hands. I think you’ve made a good decision about the hospital too – too many memories xx

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