Yesterday we had our 20 week anomaly scan
We had agreed that after this scan
If all was well
We would tell Esther and William
About the baby
Yesterday passed
And we did not tell them
This morning I took the scan photos
To the breakfast table
And handed them to David
So he knew
I was ready
It was time
“Wurzels”
(That is our pet name for Esther and William)
“Wurzels, you know how mummy’s tummy has been getting fat?
Well, the reason for that is that there is a new baby inside”
Two breakfast covered faces
Broke out into the most beautiful beautiful smiles
“There is a new baby, in there?”
“There’s a new baby in mummy’s tummy?”
“We’re going to have a new baby?”
“Can she come in the bath with us?”
“We won’t hurt her”
“Will the new baby die?”
“Baby Tilda died”
“Will this baby die?”
“Can she hear our moosic?”
“One baby can hear us in mummy’s tummy”
“And one baby can hear us up in the sky”
“We are going to play moosic for the babies”
Esther and William were excited for a little while
Then breakfast was over and it was time to play
But throughout the day
They would ask a question
Or say something about the new baby
Or about Baby Tilda in the sky
I hope that we were right to tell them that this baby will not die
We also talked about remembering Baby Tilda
How we will always remember her and talk about her
Even with the new baby
William asked many times today when the baby will come out
It is good that she is due just after their birthday
So we can say, “When you are four”
When you are four
William has kissed my bump a few times today
And he weed in the potty so that the new baby
Would hear him get a a great big clap
Esther is looking forward to helping with the new baby
When she comes
So we have done it
We have told them
A new baby sister is on her way
Now we must all hope that she makes it
And that when she comes
She comes to stay
I think Esther and William are going to be
Very happy and proud to meet their new little sister
William told us today that he is sad without Baby Tilda
And that he will be happy when the new baby comes
I love my children so very much
Each and every one of them
Here, in my tummy and in the sky
What lovely loving children they are
I’ve only very recently started reading your blog, but I am totally in awe of your strength and courage. I’ll be hoping and wishing that your rainbow baby is healthy and happy and joins you and your Wurzels (love that btw) safely.
Your kids are simply amazing, so young and so smart. They seem so mature in the way they talk about Tilda! I’m sure they’ll be great with new baby. Wish everything goes well for you xxx
This is such a lovely post, I love the way you write things and it sounds as though they are pleased about the good news of a rainbow baby. xx
Your children are incredible Jennie. I begin to love them a little too, through your writing. Impossible not to, when they say such wonderful things. They are so mature in a beautiful, childlike, innocent way. You have done the most perfect job with them (something I doubt you’ll believe but is true!) x x x x x x
…and I LOVE the playing moosic for Tilda and rainbow baby… Bless them. And she definitely can hear. They are the most gorgeous siblings to both their sisters. xxx
a sad but happy time. the music was beautiful, and they are such happy children.
Awww! Such lovely reactions and yet so raw that they ponder whether the rainbow baby will stay
your children are just wonderful and they seem so happy about the rainbow baby they will be great with your rainbow baby . i wish you all the best xx
This is the most beautiful post to wake up to but I didn’t expect to be bawling my eyes out this early!!!!! The twins are amazing. I just knew they would be so happy. They have missed Matilda so much and they are ready to embrace another sibling. This has made me so so happy. Love them to bits
x x x
Oh this is such a beautiful, magical post Jennie. What a mixture of emotions you must have had telling the twins. And they reacted as children will, with excitement and honesty. I love that they wanted to play music for the baby! xx
Oh this made me cry! They are such special little things and have been through so much. I’m so pleased to hear them excited about their new baby sister who will be a little ray of sunshine xx
Such lovely reactions! I think children can have such a lovely, simple but profound way of looking at things, and the twins reaction sounds just like that. They get the excitement of it, but immediately understand how it relates to their other little sister. Which is so mature and sensitive of them.
x
This is lovely Jennie, I am glad it all went well telling them. A happy but emotional time for you all. They sound like incredibly sensitive and wonderful children. x
Hi Jennie. I’m a new reader to your blog too. I recently read all about Tilda and she (and your family) have been in my thoughts a lot since. This is a wonderful post filled with happiness and excitement. Matilda Mae will be smiling down from the sky. It really made me smile, you all deserve it so much! Xx
you’re just incredible, what an amazing Mum. I know you probably think ‘oh yeah’, but really you are. I only have one child, and it’s beyond challenging, so i just read your blog and your story with admiration, every day. sx
They are amazing children, just wonderful and this is because they have such wonderful, parents. Sending lots of love. Xxx
What a gorgeous post. I just love the honesty and innocence of children. It must be so difficult to welcome a new baby with all that you have been through but I think you are handling it perfectly. xxx
You have done such an amazing job with these little guys! They are wonderful. You must have so many mixed emotions swirling around. I don’t know if you have seen this website but i came across it today and thought of you.
http://stillstandingmag.com/category/grief/
Take care xx
What a lovely video and brilliant response from them also xx
I just love Esther’s wild abandon on the xylophone! With moments of stillness in between outbursts. I had to watch the video again because it was so lovely. 🙂
It must be shocking, amazing, refreshing and impossibly tough to hear them ask so naturally the questions that keep running through your own mind and that you try not to dwell on. Three year olds are just so honest.
Keep going, you are doing such an amazing job!