A day of clouds and sunshine
A day of light and dark
Bright and shade
Sunlight and shadow
A day of rain then sun
And yet the rainbow respectfully stayed away
Today was not a day for rainbows
Today was a day for Matilda Mae
Today we went back to the place
Where we spent Tilda’s birthday last year
We went to the Headland Garden
In Polruan, near Fowey
The people there were so friendly
As we made our way down the cliff side
Winding past the bluebells
To Tilda’s special beach
It seemed so changed from last year
Which made me feel so sad
So much has changed since last year
We all have changed and grown
Everyone has aged a year
Except Matilda Mae
Everything today was a reminder of how far we have come
Leaving our daughter behind
And it hurts so much to know
That every time we visit that place
We will all have changed and grown a little more
We will have left Baby Tilda a little further behind
Locked up tight in our hearts and our memories
I can’t stand it
It makes me feel so scared
It is becoming harder and harder to persuade myself
That this is all some terrible mistake
And life will just go back to normal one day
Tomorrow our daughter should be two
Instead we will tonight wrap presents for her siblings
Dress the house for a party that has no guest of honour
But I cannot, will not, let her day go unmarked
Tomorrow is Baby Tilda’s birthday
And we will remember her
In all that we do we will honour her
And celebrate the too short time that we had with her
Were blessed and lucky enough to have her in our lives
But inside my heart will shatter all over again
Into tiny shards that will pierce my body and soul
For all days
Because I should be able to wake up in the morning
And kiss my little girl happy birthday
Not send her wishes and kisses to the sky
I should be beaming with pride tomorrow
Admiring how much Tilda has changed and grown
Not feeling sad and scared
That we are all growing
All changing
All moving on in time
From our baby in the sky
We love you Matilda Mae
Baby Tilda
Happy 2nd birthday in the sky
What a beautiful way to mark a special day that will never be forgotten. So poignant. Best wishes for an emotional time xxx
So heartbreaking. Of course it doesn’t make sense – how could it? And of course your heart will break all over again. It is just so wrong that Matilda Mae is not here. But you remember her and keep her with you so beautifully, in everything you do, every day. Tomorrow will be hard, but you will make it a special day for Esther and William, and I hope you will find some measure of comfort and peace, and some sign that Baby Tilda is watching and loving the celebrations. Thinking of you xxx
Darling Jennie, I’m reading with tears in my eyes yet again. It is too, too cruel that Matilda is not here to celebrate her birthday. It is nature’s way for everything to continue to grow and change but 2nd May will always be her special day and you are honouring her memory in the most wonderful ways. Thinking of you as always x
Happy Birthday Matilda, sending you special birthday wishes as you dance with the stars x
I am so so sorry Jennie. Please draw strength that so many people are remembering her always and especially today and thinking of you all. It must be so heartbreaking to see everything else in the world move on without your beautiful little girl. She should be here and it is so unfair. Sending love and support for today xxx
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Happy second birthday to a beautiful star in the sky…. I don’t know what else to say. You are in my thoughts. X
Beautiful, beautiful girl, always to remain a baby here on Earth but turning two years old in Heaven and never, ever forgotten. I’m sending you so much love today, Jennie and I’m so, so sorry she’s not here like she should be. Love love love love love.
Thinking of Matilda today and always and sending you all love…always x
Beautiful and heartbreaking post. I wish it wasn’t so, I wish she could be here celebrating with you all. I hope today was peaceful for you all xx
Happy birthday Matilda Mae! Send your mummy and loving family some special kisses and twinkles from the sky.
My heart breaks all over for you again. Such a beautiful way to make Tilda’s 2nd birthday – just so sad that she is not here with you to enjoy it as she should. Will never understand why that isn’t so – life has been so cruel. On 2nd May, I went to mass to remember my granny’s anniversary but also forefront of my mind was a precious baby girl who should be with her family. I thought of Matilda Mae all day that day and lit a candle to send a kiss to her in the sky xxx
What a beautiful scenery to have as your little Matilda’s special beach. Your post is beautiful, as ever, and I really feel for you. Happy birthday, Matilda Mae.
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