Today I am 32 weeks pregnant

My house is beginning to look like a house

That is expecting a baby

Everything is thus far still in it’s packaging

But having baby things in the house is progress

Good progress for us

We are also now making definite progress with our bedroom

The carpet is going in on the Monday after BritMums

Then the skirting board heating goes in

Then our new bed

And upholstery for the window seat

New bedding including a gorgeous Breathe duvet from The Fine Bedding Company

It has gone from something I have been dreading

To something I am looking forward to

The room will be a new place

A new space

For us all to be

With 8 weeks to go

We are making progress

Two things happened today

First thing this morning I went to see the midwife

I really like my midwife

She is gentle and compassionate and caring

She is generous with her time

And she is a good listener

Today’s appointment was not filled with great news

Firstly she confirmed that I am indeed very anaemic

I have an appointment to see the GP about starting iron therapy

I am really reluctant to start iron tablets

As I already suffer with constipation and with piles

So am going to use liquid iron from Vitabiotics and look at Spatone

My urine sample had no ketones today

But was very concentrated

So have been told to make sure that I am drinking plenty

Especially in this warmer weather

I am loving the flavoured waters from Water Baby at the moment

And these are filled with pregnancy friendly vitamins too

The midwife measured my bump

She measured it twice

Though I am 32 weeks along

My uterus is only measuring 30cm in height

So 30 weeks along

She said if I was not already booked in for a growth scan this Monday

She probably would have requested one

So we will see what they say at the hospital

Rainbow Baby has been measuring big at all the scans

So seems strange to me that my uterus is measuring small

We will see what we shall see on Monday

We listened in to Baby’s heartbeat which was beating beautifully

And our little lady is still head down

Next thing for me this pregnancy?

A whooping cough vaccine

This week has been a hard week

Post barn dance come down

Took over from holiday deflation

Esther and William have both had a horrible cold virus

That they have lovingly passed on to David and I

Which coupled with hay fever has seen us both finding the normal things hard

It has been a week of finding the normal hard

David does not complain easily so hearing him moan and groan through each day

I know that he is really struggling

I know that I am really struggling

I am hoping that we might all turn a corner soon

Once home from the midwife

I spoke to The Lullaby Trust

To Alison, their CONI Coordinator

CONI is The Trust’s Care of the Next Infant Scheme

For families who have suffered a loss through SIDS

David and I had been unsure about the CONI scheme

And today we were told that even if we did want it

The scheme is not available to bereaved parents in Kent

So once baby comes home from hospital

If it is anything like with Tilda

We will basically be on our own

And that is fine

We know how to look after our children

We are intelligent and we know how to seek help

On the phone and online

But the CONI scheme offers more

A Health Visitor visiting weekly

Checking baby’s weight and health

Talking to parents about how things are going

Now I know it is not available to us

I understand what a source of security and comfort it could have been

I am hoping to find a way to work with The Lullaby Trust

To approach the NHS about supporting CONI in Kent

It will be too late for us

But will hope many other bereaved parents

When their Rainbow Baby comes

For now it leaves David and I mulling over monitoring

And working out what the best way of protecting our baby should be

The best way of ensuring we can be the best parents we can be

I am looking forward to the chance to talk it all through with a Paediatrician

And to talk again to our Consultant

And I know that The Lullaby Trust will always be at the end of the phone

David and I are also nowhere with names

Naming a third baby girl

A third daughter

Is proving really really hard

What a grumpy pregnancy update

I wish there were more positive things to say

Next week will be 33 weeks

And Rainbow Baby might look a bit like this!