Our rainbow baby

Baby Bea

Was born at 19.41 on Tuesday 5th August 2014

Her birth was quick and uncomplicated

And in spite of the hour

We were told that if we wanted to

We could go home that night

We decided to stay

Though now we would never make that decision again

We went straight home with Matilda Mae

And even though Esther and William were in NICU

I was discharged just a few hours after their birth

We definitely should have gone home with Bea

And returned in the morning for her checks

But had we done that

We would not have been able to have

A much wanted, perhaps needed, apnoea alarm

From the team at SCBU

And so we decided to stay

After about three cups of tea, a sandwich and a shower

I was fitted with DVT compression stockings

Told that I would need to have 7 days of Fragmin

And discharged from the labour ward

Before Bea was discharged

A lovely nurse came down to see us

She brought an apnoea monitor from SCBU

And showed us how to fit it and use it

The monitor was the same as the ones

Esther and William had when we were rooming in with them

September 2010

Just before we brought them home

I was wheeled from delivery to postnatal

In a wheelchair with Bea in my arms

David followed with all our bags

The postnatal ward was dark

By this time it was very late

We were shown to our room

Husbands and partners are allowed to stay overnight

But David was not made to feel welcome at all

Big signs saying partners may not sit, lie or rest on the bed at any time

And the midwife pointed out to David that he could not have any pillows or blankets

He literally had to sleep on the hospital floor

David being David just got on without complaint

He took the base cushions from two chairs

And used my birthing ball as a pillow

As it was neither of us got any sleep

AT ALL

First there were checks of obs

For baby and me

Then there were all the other new crying babies

Even though we were in a room of our own

We, I, could still here the babies crying

Bea was quite unsettled

Not too much though

And when I stopped attempting to put her in a cot

She was absolutely fine

She fed all night

The midwife remarked in the morning

That most babies do that on their second night

But not our grumpy chubber

She fed all night on her first night

And in the morning

She did the biggest meconium poo I have ever ever seen!

Her digestive system was definitely working!

And so was mine

After a busy night of no sleep and constant feeding

I was starving

As soon as the cafe opened at 7.30am

David went out for fresh orange juice, hot chocolate and egg and bacon muffins

They tasted divine

And refuelled me for more feeding on Baby Bea’s first full day in the world

The midwife came round early on and said that we would be able to go home that morning

SCBU were ready for us to go up for our training

They were giving us resuscitation training

And some other basic first aid

There was a problem though

We were not allowed to take Bea with us

The midwife was trying to convince us to leave her in our room

On her own

And he would check on her each time he happened to walk past

David explained to him that I was very anxious about leaving the baby

I still cannot believe that knowing our history

They ever expected us to say, ‘Okay, that is fine, to leave our brand new baby on her own

In a strange place, with no one watching her’

In the end a Health Worker came to sit with her

And she ended up in the office being looked after by a nurse

Baby Bea was less than 24 hours old and unless she was on David or I

She would not settle

The midwife insisted on swaddling her and trying to leave her in her cot

Which made her cry

And me cry

A lot of time was wasted trying to convince me to leave her alone

I felt that I was being spoken to in quite a condescending way

But I realise that I was feeling very emotional and sensitive

Having just given birth to our rainbow

At about 11am we went up to SCBU

And the training was excellent

At 11.45am Baby Bea had her Paediatrician check

We thought that would be the last thing before we were allowed to go home

However, while doing the routine checks

The lovely Paediatrician could hear a slight murmur on Bea’s heart

She wanted to get Bea checked by a colleague

At first we thought we would have to wait a few hours

But after consulting a colleague they decided to do some checks straight away

And so we went back to SCBU

This time with Baby Bea

Bea was placed in a hot cot

And given some sweeties (sucrose)

While her four limbs blood pressure tests were done

They also checked her oxygen levels

And monitored her heart

Everything thankfully came back normal

But the second doctor could not rule out

A slight murmur in the heart

It was thought that

It was likely to be an open duct

That would close on it’s own in a few hours or days

Assured it was nothing serious

Baby Bea was discharged with an outpatients appointment for Friday

We were confident to take her home

We wanted to go home

And we know about PDAs

Because William had one too

Before we left

Granny and Granddad brought Esther and William to the hospital

To meet their baby sister

And to have a picnic lunch with us

They were so excited

They just wanted to look at baby and touch her

It was a very special time for all of us

After lunch Esther and William left with Granny and Granddad

And then we too were soon on our way home

We put Baby Bea in her Cosatto Kimono hold car seat

Which she was very happy and snug in

We then headed for home

It was very strange heading home

Knowing that the house was waiting

Full of memories of Matilda Mae

Knowing Esther and William were waiting to have their new baby home

Knowing that a whole new life was now totally dependent on us

A new chapter of our family book ready to be written

With one baby beside me

And one baby in my heart

I was going home

Ready to make the most of our fourth trimester

Ready to begin raising our Rainbow