I think everyone knows by now

We are off to Coombe Mill

I discovered Coombe Mill online

Through the blogging community I think?

Back in 2012

On Christmas Day 2012 I booked a holiday

We chose Coombe Mill as the place to spend our daughter’s first birthday

Our friends visited Coombe Mill with their little one

They had an amazing time and wonderful weather

I knew it was the place I wanted to be

When Matilda Mae turned one

I imagined her toddling around the farm

With her cheeky smile

And a floppy pink sun hat

I imagined her stroking the lambs

With her chubby little hands

I could picture her

Picking daisies from the grass

Riding on the tractor

Crawling on the sand

And splashing in the sea

It was going to be a magical family holiday

I had no idea that Christmas Day

As we paid our deposit online

That our beautiful Baby Tilda

Would never see the farm we chose for her

She would not live to see her first birthday

Instead we would carry her ashes there

In a paper bag

In a wooden boat

And it would be from there

We would sail her ashes

Down the river

Across the sea

To the sky

I cannot remember how after Tilda died

We made the decision to still go to Coombe Mill

But I am so glad that we did

We had always planned to send Tilda’s ashes out to sea

We did not choose the exact place until after being at the farm a few days

We were looking at different places in Cornwall

And nowhere seemed right

I know now that was because we had already found it

It was always meant to be

I have always said that I felt Tilda knew she was not here to stay

I am certain our Coombe Mill holiday was always booked

Unknowingly

As a resting place for Tilda’s body

A place with children and family at it’s heart

A place we can return to year on year

A place we can share with family and friends

A place we will always feel her close

We chose Coombe Mill for Matilda Mae

Matilda Mae chose Coombe Mill for us

It will always feature in our calendar

It will always hold a very special place in our hearts

And in just 3 sleeps we will be back there again

To her farm, our farm

Her river

To one of the prettiest, most magical places I have ever been

This year we will remember our beautiful daughter

This year we will celebrate her third birthday in the sky

And mark the second anniversary of the night her ashes set sail

For the saddest of occasions

We return once again to our happy place

We return once again to Coombe Mill

I hope that one day you will visit there too

I know that you will love it just as much as we do