Two sleeps ago we drove to Coombe Mill

The day before we left David found one of the tyres on our car

Flat

Worried we would be unable to make our very special journey

He took the twins to Qwik Fit

Two new tyres later

We felt able to pack the car ready for the off

We went to sleep just after midnight

On the day we were due to leave

As dawn broke

And we readied to leave

We could not believe that one of our rear tyres was flat again

We could not bear not to go

We travelled to our nearest garage

Filled the tyre with air

And began our journey to the sea

On our way to the farm

We visited Longleat

As we have always done

Since the day we took Tilda’s ashes on safari in 2013

After Longleat instead of staying somewhere over night

We travelled on to Coombe Mill

Esther and William were very tired

And Bea does not travel well at the very best of times

I thought our evening drive to the farm

Was going to be horrid

But I think our guardian angel

Had other plans and ideas

Esther and William settled with a DVD in the car

And Bea soon fell asleep to lullabies

Including Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

David was focused on the driving

And me …

I got lost in the sky

A sky filled with angels

As the landscape became familiar

As we travelled the roads we now know so well

My attention was given to the skies

The early evening Cornish sky

Brightest blue

With dense fluffy clouds

White as the beard of an old fisherman

It was a sky painted by a child

Of a day filled with memory

The happiest of memory

It was a sky filled with angels

Children of the stars

A sky full of angels

And on this night

My little angel

My star of the sea

I am certain gave me a glimpse of her world

Her world beyond the clouds

Her world up in the sky

Her world on any ordinary

That I just cannot see

Cannot begin to imagine

Though I fiercely believe

As we headed into Cornwall

The rain thundered down

From nowhere

Falling from the bluest sky

Through cotton wool clouds

Laced with golden sunshine

The heavens opened

And the rain fell

The thick clouds glistened

With silver and gold

The perfect weather for a rainbow

It was as though Tilda was welcoming us

And telling us it was okay

That bringing Bea

Having Bea was okay

The green grass in the surrounding fields

Was the brightest I had ever seen

The yellow gorse on the moors

As bright as though it were drops of sunshine

Raining down to the ground

The clouds formed images of angels

Sunbeams broke through like ladders to the sky

Urging me to climb

Come Mummy, come and climb

The clouds were illuminated

Crowned with sunlight

Holes in the clouds

Dazzled my eyes

It felt as though I could see through them

The cloudland borders

To a secret world of hope and beauty beyond

I felt like I was somewhere beautiful

Somewhere incredible

Somewhere magical

And yet so familiar

So normal

So comforting

Though the clouds were in fact blankets

Wrapping themselves around me

Keeping me warm and safe from harm

Like arms wrapped round

Love enveloping me

It felt like coming home

And though my heart was racing

And my spirit soared

The saltwater tears trickled

Then fell

As suddenly as the torrential rain stopped

With no warning whatever

My tears fell

Because I could feel her

I could feel my baby daughter close

And it felt wonderful

Overwhelming

Amazing

We were coming together

In her very special place

Where she and we found peace

As Tilda’s ashes sailed down the river

Across the sea to the sky

A sky that is just the very beginning

Of what is still to come

Of a life we can know nothing of

Until we are part of it

Until we are there

Until we are together again

In the sky

Her sky

Beyond the sky

The beautiful rainbow sky

A sky filled with angels

A sky full of angels