Each year less and less people will remember Tilda’s birthday
But we will never forget
It is never going to be less important or significant to us
Her 4th birthday will be celebrated just as much as her first
Just as with our living children
Matilda Mae’s birthday will always be her birthday
Even if it is now Princess Charlotte’s birthday for most people
It will always be Tilda’s day for us
It will always matter to us
Some years will be harder than others
To make the most of her day
Next year will be difficult
Tilda would have turned 4
She would have been getting ready for school
Big school
She would have been getting ready to share a class
With Esther and William in our tiny village school
I imagine Matilda Mae’s 10th birthday will be hard
The year she would have reached double figures
Double digits
A decade since she died
13
The start of her teenage years
Sweet 16
Never been kissed?
17 and learning to drive
18
21
Our baby girl should become a woman
She would be fully grown
Her birthday will always matter
Will always be special for us
For me
I can count on my hands
The people who sent cards this year
Less than ten
It means so much that they do
Dead or alive
She is our daughter
And her birthday is her birthday
Nothing can ever take that away
And birthdays are as much for the parents as the children
I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl
On 2nd May 2012
And every 2nd of May
I will remember that day
That birth day
The birthday of Matilda Mae
Baby Tilda’s birthday
If you know someone with a baby in the sky
Try if you can to remember them
Talk about them
Send them a card on their birthday
Just as you would for their living children
It really does mean the world to know
Our baby is not forgotten
If you have a baby in the sky
What do you do to remember them?
How do you honour them
On their special days
And all days?
Here are some of the ways we remember Matilda Mae
On her birthday
Anniversary
And all days
Special Places
We have a few special places that we associate with Tilda
Her memory garden at the front of our house
These are places we go to remember our daughter
To be together and feel her close by
We try to go to the sea every month on or around the 2nd
To remember our little girl
Special Things
The things we associate with Tilda are
Special Songs
There are so many songs
So many
Here are a few
Starlight
Rule The World
In The Night Garden and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
There are so many songs that for me
Will always be linked to Tilda
Including My Angel written especially for her
And one song
For Matilda Mae
And another very special MM in the sky
Taken from her family too soon
Traditions
We try to wear pink and purple and stars on special Tilda days
We go to the sea for special days or when we want to feel Tilda close
We send bubbles to the sky when go somewhere special or somewhere new
We light candles at special times or when we are feeling low
We talk about Tilda all the time to anyone who will listen
We celebrate her birthday with presents and cards and a party tea
Legacy
In Baby Tilda’s memory we
Raise awareness of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, particularly in older babies
We raise money and awareness for The Lullaby Trust
We work with Count The Kicks and Bliss
Saving little lives
I use this blog to share our story in Tilda’s name
I write about family life after loss
I would like to find ways to work with professionals and charities
To improve bereavement care and support
For the young siblings of babies who die
I would give anything to have Tilda back in my arms
Instead I do all I can to keep her in our lives
On her birthday
On special days
And all days
If you know someone with a baby in the sky
Try if you can to remember them
Talk about them
Send them a card on their birthday
Just as you would for their living children
It really does mean the world to know
Our baby is not forgotten
If you have a baby in the sky
What do you do to remember them?
How do you honour them
On their special days
And all days?
I would love to know your story and theirs
Our baby girl died 13 years ago this September, the first few years people remembered her birthday, now more people ‘remember’ or reach out to us on her anniversary. This makes me sad, I personally find her birthday harder, that’s the time she ‘should have been…..’
We always have a family day, take our son out, make time for us together. We talk, we laugh, we love…. That’s our way of keeping her memory alive, even though our son is 11 our ‘Ellie days’ are sacred. I just hope for our sake as he gets older they remain that way, otherwise a little part of me will feel like I’ve lost a part of them both
Oh, Jennie. I think of you and Matilda at some point in every day even though I’ve never met you, but especially on significant dates. For me, the Princess’ birth did not overshadow the fact that the 2nd May was, is and always will be Tilda’s day. Your story has really touched me and I think it is wonderful how much you include Esther and William and now Bea in celebrating and honouring your beautiful baby girl. Xx