At a quick glance the rented house looks lovely

When you take a closer look

Then you see

It is depressingly badly painted

Things don’t quite fit together as they should

There is an island in the kitchen

But you cannot use it

The stools provided are far too high

If you stand to eat the island is far too low

No one has had much sleep

The house is light and loud

The beds are creaky and uncomfortable

It is only 9 o’clock in the morning

And already all I want to do is cry

Today is a nice sunny day

So soon we will escape

But what on earth are we to do when it rains?

Our old house is now unsafe to enter

We have nowhere that feels like home

And no idea when we might have something safe enough to return to

It is going to be at least two months

But realistically much much more

I am seriously considering risking the heat of the summer

And escaping to Spain to live with my Mum

Though I am not sure we would be welcome indefinitely

I know we are lucky in so many ways

But it is hard to see through the fog sometimes

It is hard to see through the fog

Today I am caught up in a dark dark mood

Exacerbated by tired children

I have just taken them to explore the park

In our new, temporary, village

Esther played happily

The other two just moaned and whinged and complained

It was so awful we have had to come home

I think I was a bit premature yesterday

In thinking the upheaval would not affect our children

If we are struggling

Of course it follows that they will too

I wish I knew how to make it better for them

Instead of being the idiot I keep accusing William of being

It is only day 2 of many many days

I have to clear this fog of frustration, fear and worry

There is no going back now

Our house is not safe for living in

There is no going back now

Only onwards

Only on

One thing that is really bothering me

Is having no Internet

Social media is how I communicate with my family and friends

Here I have no access to them

No Internet

No email

I cannot see my Google calendar

Cannot check the weather

Cannot see what is on

To plan where we might go

And I cannot write my blog

My blog which is my therapy

My only vice and outlet

With no Internet we have no TV

No You Tube

No CBeebies

No Reading Eggs or Maths Seeds

Which play an important role

In our home school

Day 2 and I am already wishing

That we owned many more DVDs than we do!

….

Just after 11am

After a fruit feast

Watching The Lion Guard

I piled everyone in the car

And we drove to the next village

To buy hot sausage rolls

And Chelsea buns

For ourselves, Daddy and the builders

Carrying the load back to the car

With three small children

Was quite an unenviable task

But I did it

The workers were very grateful

The sun was shining

And we all had a much more peaceful

Calm afternoon

Of course we did

We were home

The building work is moving on at a pace

They started taking down the first of the walls today

And David felled Matilda’s tree

Tomorrow we have a specialist grounds man arriving

He is going to be digging the foundations for our extension

The holes needed to be filled with cement to support our chimneys

Once the walls are down

And the holes in the ground for our

Rain water harvesting tank

So much is happening so quickly

No wonder we are all out of sync

Today was not a good parenting day for me

Tomorrow I must try harder to be more understanding

Poor old William does not cope well with change

And Bea is struggling to get through the days without her num-num

But we all made it through the day

Perhaps with a few too many shouts

And foot stamps

But we made it through the day

I think a big building project like this

Can be compared to an exciting business event

Or a spell of time away

Where one partner is able to get stuck in

Enjoy the physicality of the work

Soak up the atmosphere of the build

Enjoy the company of the workers

While the other is left

Trying to live their usual life

In a totally unusual

Unfamiliar way

It is always harder for the ones left behind

No wonder we are all exhausted

Anxious and uncertain

And I am not really sure

That the enormity of what we are doing

Has hit home yet

(Pun totally intended!)

We are still standing

Even smiling some of the time!

And today I remembered a happy accident

By complete coincidence

Our builders

Are MM Construction

Matilda Mae is watching over all that we, and they, do

I do believe in signs

Do you?