Thursday

I think the way to cope

With not being at home

Is to be out

The last two days

We went out

To places we know

Places we enjoy

Places we feel safe

The Rare Breeds Centre, near Ashford in Kent

and

Kent Life

Both farms full of animals, tractors

Indoor and outdoor play

Good coffee and exceedingly good cake!

We have annual passes now for both farms

So together with Leeds Castle

These will be our safe havens

We are also going to make more

Of our National Trust membership

It is summer

We are home educating

We should make the most of being able

To get out and about

Also on sunny days

We are going to go home

And play in the garden

So that myself and the children

Remain connected with the renovation process

And with our home

We are 4 days into the build now

And things are happening fast

There is a digger in our playroom

Huge holes in the floors and the ceilings and the walls

Props and poles

Are holding up our house

As we wait for the steels to be put in

It is crazy seeing your house being taken apart

Piece by piece

By people that you do not know

You are trusting them with everything

Your house, your home

Your future

Everything

We have come away today

Leaving our house with a humungous hole at it’s heart

We are hoping it will all be still standing

When the team return in the morning

I still think that David and I are shocked

David especially, as he is in the thick of it

By the enormity of the levels of destruction of our home

That may sound silly

Perhaps we should have known

But our house is pretty much completely destroyed on the inside

Torn down to be built back up again

Assuming we do not run out of money before it is done!

Friday

It is Friday

The end of the working week

The end of the first week of our renovation

It is time to take a break and reflect

On our big build

Today was a slower day

But it ended with the first steel in place

And a 5000 litre rainwater harvesting tank in the garden

David managed to sleep through til 5.30am today

Instead of waking at 3.30am

But then worked his longest day yet

Project managing at the site

The site

Our home

And meeting with electricians

Our house is more holey than ever

The dust is inches thick

On the outside of the house

Let alone the inside

We have had to pack up everything

And make decisions about things

That had been safely stored away

Since Tilda died

The planning notes from the funeral directors

It has annoyed us for more than 3 years

Staring out at us from a shelf in the kitchen

With her name spelled wrong

But it never felt right to throw it away

So now we have ceremoniously burned it instead

The lights from Tilda’s first Christmas star

Those David rightfully decided to keep

As the project unfolds

So too does our history

Wrapped in every fibre of this house

Is our time within it

The souvenirs of our times

Our family momentos

Those treasured and those tucked away

All filled with memory and love

Big builds are stressful

Also emotional in ways you do not think about

Until it is begun

And once it is started

There is no going back

But now we breathe

Reflect

Recharge

Before we begin again on Tuesday

Bringing down the walls