You buy presents for all your children
Your brothers’ and sisters’ children
Your children’s children
Your godchildren
Your friends’ children
Christmas is about children
But what if your child
Your niece or nephew
Your grandchild
Your godchild
Your friend’s child
What if they have died
Should you buy them a present too
In my opinion
My humble opinion
As a loss mother
Yes you should
Because they are still our children
And we will be wishing with all our hearts
That they were with us on Christmas Day
And throughout the festive season
We have not forgotten them
A present for them will not be a painful reminder
That they are not here
It will be a very welcome sign that you know
That they should be here too
It does not have to be a big gift
An expensive present
Just a token
So we know that you know
That you remember
And you care
Here are some of the things you might buy
For a baby or child in the sky this Christmas
A candle
Perhaps this deep sleep heavenly candle
To remember and relax
At a special but stressful time of year
A cuddly toy or doll
Bunnies are the toy we associate with Tilda
I carried a bunny at her funeral
And one travelled with her
In her casket
For us a bunny would be perfect
Or a personalised rag doll
Like this one I bought for Bea
In Tilda’s name this Christmas
A tree decoration
Our Christmas tree has evolved over the years
From our memory tree
Matilda Mae
Our star of the sea
Our baby in the stars
The brightest star in the sky
Christmas is filled with stars
Our Christmas is filled with Tilda
And whenever someone sends us something
In memory of Tilda
For our tree
It means the world to us
To me
A room decoration or ornament
This can be anything
A small ornament with a meaningful name or sentiment
I collect Willow Tree Angels
Which are perfect for this
There are many other beautiful things you can choose
Something with their name on
A bracelet perhaps
Or necklace
A lego brick from The Lego Store
Something personalised
And personal to them
You could make something
Like bunting
Or Scrabble tile picture
You could simply write their name on a stone
A picture
Pictures are a wonderful memorial gift
Special people
Special places
For us a Tilda sky
You can get special pictures created
Or just paint or draw one of your own
A card
A well chosen card
Can sometimes find the words you can’t
And they can mean so much
A plant
For the season
Or for the garden
A plant is a gift that keeps on giving
And does not have to cost the earth
A packet of seeds
The right colour
With a meaningful name
Such a tiny thing
Can make such a big difference
And mean such a lot
Picture by Schryver Photography
Something for their grave, memory garden or special place
Many people have a grave for their baby or child
That they tend and keep and decorate
You can buy a small toy to place there
A special gift for a baby gone too soon
A car
A teddy
A windchime or windmill
Something small
Something special
Something colourful
It might be something you have collected
A pebble or a shell
A balloon
A simple gift for the missing
That can be enjoyed by the present
A pot of bubbles
As magical as a balloon
A way for everyone to remember
A copy of a photograph they do not know you have
My sister in law once did this for me
And I have always treasured the photo
My mother in law has a picture in her dining room
The last photo of Tilda that she took
Both of these pictures I treasure
And I smile whenever I see them
Sharing a photo perhaps forgotten
Or never seen
Would make a wonderful gift
The actual gift
And the memories that follow
Tilda too x
Donate the gift you might have bought or the money you would have spent to charity
This is an easy and lovely thing to do
And you can donate anything
It is the gesture that counts
The doing something in memory
In honour
The act of remembering
And sharing that you do
Christmas is not an easy time
For this living with loss
Missing a loved one
A parent, a sibling or a child
There are things we can do
To make the season easier for the living
And to remember those who are gone too soon
