A Most Monday-ish Monday

Today has been a horrible day

One of those days when I hate my life

One of those days when I am grumpy about everything

When my body feels tense and twitchy

When I am on the verge of tears all the time

When I am overwhelmed and anxious

And disappointed in me

I still function

I get on and get through

But it is exhausting

My skin is crawling

My mind is racing

And I doubt everyone

Question everything

I wade through treacle

Trying to clear the fog

Seeking the light at the end of the longest tunnel

NOTHING works

Food tastes wrong

Nothing looks or feels right

Everything is irritating

I want to scream

Instead

I go to the music class

I sing and dance

I help the children with their learning

I make the meals

I nurse the baby

I play with the toddler

But I am not calm

I cannot relax

And when darkness falls

I know I have wasted a day

I know I have lost another day

To the intricate craziness of my emotions

To the battle ground that is my mind

And there is no one thing that started it

No reason

Nor rhyme

But once the wheels start turning

I cannot stop them spinning

They carry on gaining momentum

Gaining speed and power

Somehow always maintaining just enough control

To avoid a head on colison

To avoid a crash

Sometimes I wonder if that is what I need

A crash

A head on collision

To knock the stuffing out

Knock some sense in

I wonder if this is what the days were like in the past

When one had gotten out of the wrong side of bed

Perhaps if I just got back under the covers

And climbed out of the right side

Maybe then everything would be okay

Today has been a horrible day

One of those days when I hate my life

One of those days when I am grumpy about everything

When my body feels tense and twitchy

When I am on the verge of tears all the time

When I am overwhelmed and anxious

And disappointed in me

I still function

I get on and get through

But it is exhausting

I am exhausted

Battered and bruised

Exhausted

Today has been a most Monday-ish Monday

I am hoping for a much better Tuesday

I choose for Tues to be better

A post shared by Jennie Edspire (@edspire) on

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