I cannot believe that our wedding day was just two months ago, so much has happened in that short space of time. Here are a few of my favourite moments from that special day, captured perfectly by our photographer, Dwikoarie … Continue reading
Today, going by my latest information, I am 14 weeks pregnant. According to www.babycentre.co.uk my baby is approximately 8cm long from crown to rump and weighs about 40g. She is growing hair and can now grasp, squint, frown, and grimace. … Continue reading
Regular readers of Edspire will know that I cannot drive. Therefore I am out and about on trains and foot with Esther and William every day bumping into lots of members of Joe Public. The one retort that I hear … Continue reading
After my disappointing maternity shop on Sunday I have been thinking of other ways in which I could make the most of me. I need to set aside some time each week that is mine alone and use it to … Continue reading
Last week I posted an open letter to my son, William, who I had shouted at earlier the same day. He was being naughty but I know that I should not have shouted. The letter was a lasting apology and … Continue reading
Today I went shopping to Bluewater. I did not have a long list of requirements. I wanted maternity tights, maternity jeans, maternity leggings and a few tops. I thought somewhere as large as Bluewater with a wide range of good … Continue reading
What a difference a year makes!
We have just had a lovely evening with family, fireworks, a bonfire and hot dogs.
There is something wonderful about bonfire night.
I have fond memories of this night as a child. My parents hosted our family bonfire nights serving hot dogs and steaming mugs of soup as I did tonight. We would all stand around a bonfire and have sparklers too.
Tonight we had a very smoky bonfire and some fireworks too. William loved the fireworks but Esther was not so sure.
Last night we did not have fireworks of the conventional kind but I did suffer an emotional outburst of my own.
What a difference a year makes!
I had a bit of a meltdown yesterday.
I am just so tired and the babies were screaming all day and I just lost it and screamed back.
I had been home alone with them for 8 hours and had had a couple of bad nights and was just exhausted.
I felt so terrible that I burst into tears and sobbed til David came home and found me.
I scared myself.
It just doesn’t seem to be getting any easier.
I always thought that I would be a good Mum and would find this something I enjoyed but at the moment it just feels like hard work and I feel sad a lot of the time and then I feel guilty for feeling sad.
I am frustrated that the babies have no clue who I am.
I am scared that I am not going to be a very good Mum.
I want to be better, I want things to get better.
Sorry for the rant. I just wanted to get in touch with someone and let off some steam and hope for a friendly reply.
I sound so ungrateful don’t I?
I’m not, I love the babies so much and I am so thankful for them but they really are such hard work and at the moment for very little in return.
Rubbish day x
Today I am feeling very confused after another NHS scan. Last week I had a private nuchal scan that dated me at 13 weeks. Today, 9 days later, I had my NHS nuchal scan that dates me at 13 weeks … Continue reading
For Eden, Isla and Mummy x Sometimes I find it hard to believe That life can be so cruel Sometimes I am left in a stupor As to how this can be the way of the world A mother is … Continue reading