I wish I could remember what I wrote on my application form for being a Graco Ambassador Finalist. I cannot for the life of me remember what I wrote but it must have been something fairly sensible and reasonably interesting … Continue reading
And just in time for Christmas we have our winner. A month ago we reviewed some gorgeous bibs from Funky Giraffe. After testing out the bibs for the review we went on to buy plenty more at The Baby Show. … Continue reading
Yesterday I wrote about The Dreaded RSV. At this time of year many parents of premature babies live in fear of their children getting sick. For babies born too small, too sick and/or too soon a cold could mean a … Continue reading
When we brought Esther and William home from their 59 days in special care we were terrified.
These teeny tiny babies were now entirely our responsibility.
What on earth were we to do?
Neither of them weighed over 5lbs. They could be held with just one hand.
How were we to know that they were okay without the machines that monitored their heart rate and their oxygen levels?
The quiet took a lot of getting used to. The quiet of our surroundings and in contrast the noisiness of our tiny son and daughter. Prem babies make so much noise when they breathe!
For days we did not leave the sanctuary of our bedroom. Here it was warm and safe. Here we had everything we might possibly need. And what we didn’t have Daddy went out to get. Daddy was good to us in those early home days.
After surviving our first night alone as a family of four, outside of the hospital walls. We thought things would begin to get easier. In fact it was then that real parenting began.
I knew I was a real mummy, prem or otherwise, when I started worrying about colour and consistency and frequency of poo! Seemingly that is something that all mummies do.
Our Health Visitor was quick to reassure me that my poo concerns were normal and that the twins seemed to be feeding really well.
We were doing well. At home! We were doing well on our own.
And on our own we were.
There were no visitors to our house in those early days. And we did not go out to see others. We did try to get of the house for a walk once a day but we did our best to not see any people.
Not because we were being precious about our premature babies but because we had been warned of the dangers of the dreaded RSV. And the cold and flu season had only just begun.
We had a long cold winter to get through and we were determined to do so without any readmissions to hospital.
I am sure that some friends and family members did not understand and felt that we were being totally over protective. But I know in those first weeks and months out of hospital we found out who our true friends were.
The people who made an effort to stay in touch with us though we were not always able to make contact with them. The people that knew to visit they had to scrub their hands and change their clothes and probably even then not be allowed to hold our little babies.
We could not be too careful with the precious lives we had been given.
We were their protectors now.
And we did everything in our power to keep them safe.
One of the first things we had to do was send an email to our family and friends to explain our decision to go into hibernation that first winter rather than sharing our bundles of joy with the world.
This is the email that I wrote. I would love to know how you would have felt if someone sent it to you???
That first winter was wonderful in so many ways as our babies continued to grow and go from strength to strength.
It was also incredibly lonely. I did not really see anyone and the motherhood I had dreamed of for so long was not mine. There were no baby classes, no NCT groups, no new baby friends, no play dates. I feel that I really missed out though I know it was the best thing to do for our children I am not entirely certain that it was the best thing to do for me.
Thankfully my wonderful husband worked from home and so I was not entirely alone in the days.
And do you know what? The winter was long. We only saw friends and family when they were entirely well and if we were in any doubt at all we would meet them somewhere outside.
But we did it. We made it to the spring with no colds, no flu, no sickness and most importantly no RSV.
We did it!
And as the buds turned to leaves and the blossom began so too did Esther and William’s social lives, and mine too. We opened our doors to the world. And it was wonderful!
Knowing that they and we were strong enough to get out and face our future as a family of four.
We had beaten our first winter and were ready to enjoy the spring!
It started so sweetly … Is this what happens in your house when siblings are playing together nicely?
When Esther and William came home from hospital we did not mix with many people. We had been warned by the hospital about the risks of taking our tiny babies to busy public places. What we did do a lot … Continue reading
This last month I have been writing about Esther and William’s journey through NICU. How I kept vigil by their bed sides for 59 long days. I cannot imagine how my children would feel if things had been the other way around. As Multiple Daddy puts so well, you are never entirely sure what goes on in the mind of a toddler.
But still we try.
How must it feel for children to hope that their mother will wake? To hope that one day their mother will be able to come home? How do they rationalise the fact that their mother is not at home with them where she and they and all long for her to be?
I am a fully grown adult and I struggle to think about how this can be. My heart goes out to Multiple Daddy and the beautiful Multiple children.
Tonight I join with Kerry’s family, friends and fellow bloggers to share a prayer, a whisper of hope that she might one day soon be home in the heart of her young family. Back where she belongs.
I have not yet had the chance to meet with Kerry but I hope that I will have one day in the future.
She is someone who has helped me so often through Twitter and Facebook. One of those wondrous online companions that seems to know me better than many of my real life friends do. Not because she has spent time with me but because our lives have parallel lines. We have experienced so many of the same moments in life.
Kerry like me is a multiple mummy. She is in fact THE Multiple Mummy. Hers is the blog I turn to when things are tricky with the twins.
She directed me to Home Start when I needed an extra pair of hands. She knows all too well that there are never enough arms as a mummy of three very young children.
This post about having three children under three being hard but also great is one I return to time and time again when things are tough.
Now when I am feeling frustrated or the children are getting me down, I stop and think of fellow multiple mummy Kerry and it puts the world into perspective.
I am at home with my babies. How wonderfully lucky am I?
It is the wish of every mother, to be strong for her children and to hold them in her arms.
I hope that wish comes true for you soon, Kerry.
I am sending prayers and healing wishes for you this night.
Be strong. Fight on. The world wants you back!
I have eaten a Whole Nut in your honour.
Liska at New Mum Online has asked that bloggers hand over their blogs tonight to enable thought of Kerry, aka Multiple Mummy, ripple through the cyber waves.
She asks that we all say a coordinated prayer for Multiple Mummy tonight at 10 p.m.
This is my prayer, my wishes for healing for a beautiful lady and I hope a future friend.
God Bless You, Kerry x
This year I have a wish list of things I would like from Father Christmas. I thought I would share them with you, and through you with my husband(!) to see if any of these coveted goodies end up beneath … Continue reading
21st September 2010.
59 days after they were born.
Esther and William came home.
Home – Making Up for Lost Time and Missed Cuddles
The few hours that we had not been at the hospital with our newborns we had been busy preparing their home.
The room that would house all four of us for the forseeable future.
The nursery.
Making Ourselves at Home
They were still so very tiny.
Tiny Twins
They made everything at home look huge.
Giant Baby Rockers
It felt like we had over prepared.
The nursery had a jungle theme just as our playroom does now.
Daddy had created all the artwork.
Daddy’s Art Work
The window was sealed and insulated to keep the room warm and quiet and dark. The window was covered with a jungle mural that Esther and William used to stare at for hours while we watched the clock. They should have been asleep!
Babies loved the mural
Mummy watched the clock
We had a cosleeper for the babies to sleep in when they were not in our arms.
Cosleeper
A changing cot, just like we had in hospital. Though special care habits die hard.
Changing Cot
I tried to stick to the NICU routine at home, changing nappies every three hours round the clock. Washing all body parts before putting babies in the bath. Only now can I see how silly this was. But then I did not know what else to do.
There were lots of cuddles those first few days. Making up for all the time we had lost.
Feeding Cuddles!
This room was our safety blanket, a secure environment that we could control.
Where we kept all our medicines and guide books, planned our days and adapted our routines.
Where we got to know each other and found our way as a family.
This was our sanctuary. A place we could finally be together and alone as a family of four.
No beeping, no buzzers, no whirring machines.
No footsteps.
No questions.
No probing and prodding and painful procedures.
Things were starting to normalise.
At least that is what we thought.
But of course our lives were not normal. I am not sure they ever will be again.
Follow the blog over the next few days as I share with you our experiences of bringing our premature babies home.
Forming A Family
Unsure what to buy for your toddlers this Christmas? Why not buy them a sailing boat, a fort, a labyrinth, a tunnel, a road way, a ball pool and much much more! When Esther and William were babies we had … Continue reading