A Fourth February

Here it is

The month I have been dreading

Four years on from the day you died

Four years on from when part of me died

Four years on from the start of the darkest days, weeks, months and year of my life

You died

And although you died on a day

A night to be precise

The pain is not contained to that one day

You died on the second

It was not really until the morning of the third that we were able to even think about what had happened

It was the fourth before I had any words

Every day in February Esther and William would ask

Where is Baby Tilda?

They could not understand where you had gone

How could they when we could not believe it ourselves?

February was the month when all your Daddy wanted to do was sleep

February was the month we had to sort through all your things

February was the month we waited for you to have your autopsy

February was the month we saw you, your body, in a coffin

February we chose the things you would take to Heaven

February we brought them to you in your casket

Daddy was so brave laying them with you

February was the month we planned your funeral

Tried to find the right words, right music, right way to say goodbye

February was the month Esther refused to go in the bath

None of us were coping very well without Baby Tilda here

February was the month we had to tell people

Over and over again

That our baby daughter had died

February was the month I was filled with milk

And had no baby to feed with it

The 2nd February is the anniversary of Baby Tilda’s death

February held the darkest days of our lives

We had no will

No direction

No clue where to turn

It is not just about one day

We will always dread February

We will always struggle in February

The days of that first February haunt us still

They will til the day we die

And here it is arrived

February

Rudely declaring that four years have gone

Four years without Matilda Mae

When a baby dies

Time is not a healer

Each year gone is a year further away

Another year of potential lost

Another year of milestones missed

I will always hate February

sids3

5 thoughts on “A Fourth February

  1. I don’t think any words can succinctly express sympathy, empathy or sadness on your behalf, Jennie. I almost feel I shouldn’t comment because I can’t write the right words, but I felt I couldn’t ignore this. I wanted to let you know that I have had you and your family in my thoughts throughout the days for the entire week.
    You were blessed with a beautiful girl in Tilda.
    Words can’t possibly help but I hope knowing that you are carried in my thoughts will make the smallest of difference. Even just the minutest shred of small comfort.
    Sending thoughts and remembering your beautiful star. xxx

  2. Thinking of you and Tilda today Jenny. I think of you all often. Am sending prayers and thoughts and will never forget Matilda Mae. Love, like starlight, never dies x X

  3. Jennie, thinking of you so much today. You and your family have been through my worst nightmare, every parent’s nightmare. Baby Tilda will not be forgotten ❤️

  4. You don’t know me but I have followed your wonderful blog since 2012. Just want to say that I think about you & your amazing family and especially your beautiful Tilda often. I’m so sorry this happened to you, that it happens to anyone.

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