When I found out I was pregnant I decided that I would keep a diary but being a busy Mum of twins that is much easier said than done.
Throughout the first 12 weeks of this pregnancy I have to say that life has been far from normal with the wedding and the honeymoon setting the scene.
I found out that I was pregnant at the end of August 2011. I have only had one period since having Esther and William and that began on their birthday. The 24th of July 2011. The day that Esther and William were one.
I have been pregnant this year for as long as Esther and William had been alive last year. I find that very strange, the timing. Wonderful but strange.
We found out we were pregnant not long before our wedding. I went to the doctor and arrange to have an early scan the Monday before the wedding. I made myself by dates a little over 6 weeks along. The scan showed 5 -6 weeks and to our disappointment no heartbeat was detected.
The EPU gave me an appointment for the following Monday, which was, of course, after the wedding.
At first I thought that I would be alright but as the big day came closer the uncertainty, the not knowing, was driving me mad as it preyed more and more on my mind. I needed to know if our little baby was alive. I booked a private scan for the Friday before the wedding thinking that if there was still no heartbeat at least it might show if the baby had grown. The scanning centre were not keen on carrying out the scan the day before the wedding in case it was bad news, but I insisted. I needed to know. I needed to be able to start processing the information, whatever that information might be. I needed to know.
The scan was a positive one, the baby had grown … and there on the screen was my flicker of hope, a tiny flashing white speck, my baby’s rhythmic heartbeat.
I was happy. I was pregnant. I glowed on our wedding day with our wonderful secret inside of me.
The sonographer had measured me as 6 weeks, which made sense following my earlier NHS scan.
However, on the Monday after the wedding I returned to EPU for a third scan. The heartbeat was still clear to see and we came away with a photograph of our baby in a diamond ring formation.
This time the sonographer was not so helpful or positive though and she said that she was unable to date the pregnancy as the baby was too small.
She then said that my next scan would be at 12 weeks but how can they know when that is if the pregnancy cannot be dated? I was left disappointed and confused as David and I headed off to start our family moon!
I asked David if I could have another private scan when we returned from honeymoon just so that we could be more accurate about the dates.
I also wanted to make sure that our baby is still alive. When I know that I can book in with the midwife and plan our scans from there.
It is all so exciting but being so busy with Esther and William I often forget that I am pregnant at all. How different things are second time around!