Re-posted for Baby Loss Awareness Week 2013
Is it possible to get a single poem published?
I have edited this to read in the church next Thursday.
Though I think I may have to record it.
Born to be an Angel?
You had the most infectious smile
A hearty giggle too
You were so happy and content
Nothing seemed to phase you
You were bished and bashed by both the twins
They found you such a trouble
But I know that if they had the chance
They’d march you back here at the double
You loved to play with jingle bells
You clapped your tiny hands
You loved your mummy’s singing
You were my number one fan
Your eyes lit up for wheels on the bus
You chattered along to stories
You nodded your head when something was said
You never found anything boring
You sat up from an early age
Your posture was just outstanding
You were learning to crawl the day you died
But often fell with a crash in your landing
You did not like to be alone
You cried if I left a room
I would never ever have put you down
If I’d known you’d be gone so soon
You were not very good at rolling
You often got stranded on your back
But you used to try things over again
Determination you did not lack
You wanted always what you couldn’t have
Especially when it came to toys
You loved watching Esther and William play
You enjoyed their fun and their noise
You loved it when your Daddy was there
You liked sitting with him as he worked
You used to stare at our computer screens
As though you could read every word
Your favourite thing was a waste paper bin
You loved rummaging with what was inside
You loved nothing more than an old magazine
You destroyed them with gusto and pride
You loved to sleep wrapped in my arms
It was wonderful having you there
I am struggling to sleep at night right now
The emptiness of not having you there
I hate waking without your nuzzling
Without your chubby fingers poking my face
Without you pulling or chewing my hair
Nothing will ever take your place
You flirted and wooed every stranger you met
With your intense sparkling chocolatey eyes
Everyone commented on beautiful you
Perhaps they realised
You were too special for this earth
It is becoming clear to me
You have touched so many lives
I am certain this has to be
I think my darling Matilda Mae
You were never meant to stay
You came to teach us, help us, better us
But you were always going to be taken away
In the moments I am strong enough
I think in my heart I know
You were born to be an angel
God has made this so
He chose us to look after you
To help you earn your wings
Now he has reached down and taken you back
On to better more beautiful things
Your memory will live on in each of us
In every person you touched
This is what I have to believe
When the sadness gets too much
You are our precious daughter
We loved you all we could
And now you are with the angels
For earth you were just too good
Be happy my beautiful darling
Look down on us from the sky
Please know my heart is breaking
I will love you til I die
Then we will once again be together
We will giggle and cuddle and play
For I am always your mummy
And I will get you back one day
Until then I will live my life
In such a way to make you proud
I will care for siblings old and new
And talk to you in the clouds
I will look after your Daddy
Help him to be strong
We are a family including you
Nothing will ever break our bond
Thank you for being wonderful you
Thank you for all your love
Thank you for magical memories
Keep watching us from above
I promise to say your name every day
I promise to include you in our lives in every way
I promise to love you with all that I am
And I promise to find you as soon as I can
I love you Matilda Mae
Please please be at peace x
Here is a first attempt at recording me reading the poem.
Would love to know what you think?
Beautiful x
Jennie, the photo at the end says it all. She is looking at you with such love!
xxxxxx
beyond beautiful Jennie – it really is breathtaking x
Heartbreakingly beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes. xx
Beautiful poem!! Can tell every word is from the heart. I love the photos. The one at the end shows what an amazing wee lamb she was and what a bond there was between you. I managed to compose myself with difficultly till the last line. I wish I had the words to ease your heartache if only for a second. Your always in my thoughts x x
Your poem is beautiful jennie and your sweet little girl will always be with you ,such a little cutie very very sad time heartbreaking for you all and such beautiful eyes fly like an angle sweetie pie god bless you all xxx
Beautiful words. And the last photo is just wonderful. The way she is looking at you… simply beautiful x
Beautiful pictures and such beautiful words. There’s no doubt in my mind Matilda will be watching over all of you with that gorgeous smile if hers. A gorgeous poem Jennie much love and prayers xx
Absolutely beautiful poem. A picture is also worth a thousand words and the one at the end says it all.. She adored you and knew you did her.
I’m so sorry you lost your beautiful baby girl.
Endless hugs xxx
beautiful words and the photos say it all pure love she knew u loved her so much and Matilda you x
Just beautiful Jennie………so beautiful x
Beautiful words and photos. I think the recording is a good idea. I cried again listening to it as I did when I first read your poem. You are such a lovely mummy xx
Perfect x
You read it perfectly x
Amazingly beautiful, you are truly amazing Jennie xxx
The recording is just perfect xx
A beautiful poem for a perfect angel, you read it beautifully Jennie xx
I have never met you, but not a day goes past without you in my thoughts and prayers. I can not even begin to imagine the depth of what you are feeling but your courage and openness amazes and inspires me. Your poem is truly the most moving thing I have ever read and I have such a lump in my throat writing this. You make me look at my own children with fresh and more appreciative eyes and I hope that in someway knowing that your posts are reaching out to so many people and the memory of your daughter will never leave us will in some small way give a little comfort to help you through the darker days.
If you can find it, listen to Gabrielle “sunshine”…. Here are the lyrics. We lost my nephew suddenly aged 4 and played it at his funeral, I’ve listened to it a million times since xxxx
Made a wish, I can dream
I can be what I want to be
Not afraid to live my life
And fulfil my fantasies
I learnt a lot of tricks to help me live my life
You helped me find my paradise
When you came I saw
Sunshine through my window
That’s what you are
My shining star
Sunshine
Making me feel like
I’m on top of the world
Telling me I’ll go far
Reaching out, for the highs
You inspired me to try
I felt the magic inside
And I felt that I could fly
I’m looking at the world in an optimistic light
You made me appreciate my life
’cause when you came you were my
Sunshine through my window
That’s what you are
My shining star
Sunshine
Making me feel like
I’m on top of the world
Telling me I’ll go far
You are the calm
I am the storm
You are the breeze that carries me on
When I said a truth
You wink at me
You’re there for me
Sunshine (oh yeah)
That’s what you are
My shining star
Sunshine
Making me feel I’m on top of the world
Telling me that I’ll go far
Sunshine through my window
That’s what you are
My shining star
(Sunshine) Making me feel I’m on top of the world
Telling me that I’ll go far
Sunshine through my window
That’s what you are
My shining star
Sunshine
Making me feel I’m on top of the world
Telling me that I’ll go far
Sunshine
My star, my star..
It is perfect, just beautiful x
So very very beautiful. Just like Matilda Mae. And you read it perfectly xxx
I do not know you but think of you and gorgeous baby Matilda Mae daily. My son is 6days younger than Matilda Mae and my heart is broken for you and your family. The recording is perfect, you read it v.well and your words are beautiful. Thoughts and prayers are with you all. xx
It is moving beyond words. Your love flows through your words and spoken out in your gentle voice these words pay a beautiful tribute to Baby Tilda
Jennie, this is truly beautiful and you read it perfectly xxx
Just read this for the first time.
It is THE most BEAUTIFUL thing I have ever read.
Crying buckets now and the lump on my throat hurts so much.
Your heart is as big as an ocean
xxx
Pingback: A Lullaby | Whiskey For Aftershave
What stood out for me when reading this is what a full life (sorry that is a terrible phrase considering but hope you get what I mean) your daughter lived in such a short space. Also how it is not only those who knew of her whilst alive who have memories related to her because you have done such a great job of keeping her alive in our thoughts and feelings.
She was an individual who played and plays her part. So are you.
Such a beautiful poem and that last photo – stunning. Reading everybody else’s comments, I cannot add anything other than God Bless you all xx
A truly stunning poem. Trying to type with tears in my eyes and streaming down my face isn’t so easy. When I light my two candles this evening to think of my lost babies, I will think of you too Jennie. With lots of love. Thank you for linking to Prose for Thought lovely xx
Pingback: My Letter to Matilda Mae | Whiskey For Aftershave