Bereaved: What Helps Me

What helps me?

Hearing people speak Tilda’s name
Seeing it written down
Knowing that people are blowing her kisses
Bubble kisses up high in the sky

Little things that come with the postman
Letters, postcards, gifts and keepsakes
Cakes and biscuits
People remembering special Tilda days

Knowing that in your busy life
You still take time to remember our daughter
Pink and purple, bubbles and stars
Knowing you still see her smile

Emails and letters from people we have helped
Photos of ideas that we have inspired
Carefully chosen gifts for Esther and William
That give me the precious gift of time

Knowing that people write her name in the sand
That people tell the story of Angel Matilda Mae
That people say, I saw this and I thought of you
Peoples good wishes and prayers

People who know the significant dates
Who know when the bad is worst
A hand to hold
The sharing of tears
A knowing look and a great big hug

Being with me but not always speaking
Knowing that though I am strong I am not okay
Knowing that I have to go on for my children
Recognising that doing that takes all kinds of brave

Not asking if I am okay
All I can do if you ask is lie
Assuming that I am okay
You know I am far from fine

Being here
Making the days count
Listening
In real life or online

Writing
People reading my writing
People commenting on my writing
People doing something because of my writing
People doing good because of my writing

Keeping busy
Understanding friends
Caring and compassionate family
Little signs of affection and love
Though you may feel I am pushing you away

Being there when I need you
Understanding why I cannot always be there for you
Patience
Time
Space

19 thoughts on “Bereaved: What Helps Me

  1. I’m glad that some things help at least some of the time. But I know that you are not okay. You are brave and you are strong but it’s okay that you are not okay. Because it’s just not right and I’m so so sorry xxxx

  2. I’m glad that little things can shine a tiny light in your day. And we are all falling over each other to help. I doubt there’s a mother alive who could hear your story and not feel compelled to try and help. There is only so much we can do, but if it helps even a fraction – then it is worth our effort and our time – absolutely – 100% xxx

  3. Ok, I was going to comment this a couple of months ago but I don’t know you personally, and I thought it might be a bit weird! I write Tilda’s name in the sand every time I go to a beach. Not that I go very often. But sometimes I write it in my daughter’s sand pit!

    Big hugs to you.

    Xxx

  4. Everytime the Night Garden starts and every time I see a bubble floating into the distance I say a little hello to your angel baby Matilda. xx

  5. My daughter was given some bubbles at the end of a teddy bears picnic we went to at her new school today. It immediately made me think of your beautiful baby girl xxx

  6. We don’t know each other but I regularly read your blog. You truly are an amazing writer, so moving and inspirational.

    I am very lucky to have a wonderful far reaching view from my garden it really is beautiful, even more so when there is magical pink and purple sunset, everytime this happens I think of your beautiful Matilda Mae, your Angel. I never met her nor will I forget her x

  7. Dear Jennie, you are so brave to get up each morning and continue on without your beautiful daughter. I hope every day brings you a little peace and a tiny glint of happiness x

  8. I come back to this post when I think about something I can do to make your life a little happier. I have a little gift box made up for you and the twins and I would love to send it to you. I know your dont know me and probably don’t want to give your address out to a stranger but I could even send it to a post office to a P.O. Box number. Have a think about it x

  9. Pingback: Breaking the Taboo | Baked Potato Mummy

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *