When your little baby dies
You can never ever be the same mummy again
You are not so carefree
You over think everything
You do not like letting your children out of your sight
You would do anything to make your children happy
You are defensive of your parenting choices
You carefully consider every decision you make
You have a new understanding of mortality
Your own and those you love
The slightest fall takes your breath away
You worry about every silence
You question every thing you do
Nothing you do ever feels whole
Nothing ever feels quite right
You laugh and smile as much as you can
While your children are awake
Then the dark comes crashing down
The minute they fall asleep
You can no longer relate to other mums
The way you used to do
You would give anything to have the things
They complain and moan about
There is always something missing
Someone is not there
Life can never be the same again
Everything feels unfair
Every day is painful
A proper physical pain
As you realise that you will never be truly
Carefree and happy again
When your little baby dies
You can never ever be the same mummy again
Because when your nine month old baby dies
A part of you as a person and a mummy do too
The space where Tilda should be x
Oh Jenny. I don’t know what to say, words fail me. I understand though – you know after our chat about my mum, she was the same.
But what a beautiful photo of you and your beautiful twins. Just lovely.
Heartbreaking honest. Esther and William will grow up and will realise what a strong, inspirational mummy they have who despite the pain she felt every second of every day, she still parented them with love, patience and understanding x
Hugs to you Jenny!
Sorry Jennie! I don’t know why I spelt your name wrong… mind going empty.
SO here it goes again: Huge hugs to you Jennie!
Big hugs xx
I moan way too much..I am truly inspired by the strength you have as a mother. Xx
xxxxxxxxxxx 🙁 xxxxxxx you are still a mummy- a more wonderful, more brave mummy than any other mummy around xxxxxx
Hugs xxxx
Jennie your strength – like your writing – is amazing. Sending love xx
You are do strong. I think of you often x
Jennie, my heart goes out to you and your so right, none of us can understand the pain of losing a child unless we too have been through it, none of us can feel that sense of loss, that your heart will never be the same again.
No parent should have to go through the pain of losing a child, for a long time now I have read others talk about your loss, about your beautiful little Angel Matilda Mae, but you carry on because you have too, you carry on because you still have 2 beautiful children who need you so much.
Matilda Mae is the brightest star in the sky, she will always be part of you and your families lives, for she is forever close in your hearts, where she will stay for always.
You’ll never be the same Mummy again after loss, but Mummy to an Angel and your two other beautiful children you will be, sending so much love and gentle hugs your way, may you continue to do such lovely things in memory of your Tilda x
jennie your strength is amazing and you are a wonderful mummy xxx