Her beautiful smile
Her infectious giggle
Her determination to get the things she couldn’t have.
Her love of the camera especially as a teething accessory!
Her love of lights!
How when you walked in or out of her room, when you thought she was asleep, she would lift her chest up, crane her neck and grin at you
She did not like sleeping when not on a person
She smiled whenever me or David entered the room
How she flapped her arms with excitement and when she was really excited her whole body trembled and she scrunched up her face with delight
She cried the second she was in a room on her own
She had long thick eyelashes and bright sparkling brown eyes
She had one long lock of hair that often curled on her forehead
She loved playing nappy free after her bath especially in front of the fire
She loved laying beneath the apple tree and watching the colourful ribbons we hung in the trees
She tried to pull herself up on the fireguard
For ages before she could crawl she would bottom shuffle and kind of bottom twirl around a room
She loved music and would clap along to my singing
She loved jingle bells and got very excited when she saw them
She loved chewing on Sophie
For a long time she hated going into her car seat and protested loudly about being in the car!
She giggled and smiled so much when you blew on to her face
She loved to stick out her tongue!
She rested her head on my shoulder when I cuddled her
She could sit herself up in her cot
She loved playing in our bed early in the morning
Her favourite toy in these times was Daddy’s phone
She loved milk and breastfed on demand her whole 9 months
How if you bent your head to one side she would copy you and make it a game
How she was so very good at blinking
She liked nodding and shaking her head
She smiled and laughed a long to stories
How she curled up in a tiny ball like a hedgehog and cried if Esther or William hurt her
How she looked so pleased with herself each time she did something new
Her love of food and how she would study us all as we ate
How she would try to steal food from her siblings plates
Her determination to feed herself with a spoon
How she loved cuddles with Esther and William
How she loved the bath and had learned to do splashing
How she used to scratch and knead my breasts as she fed
How after 6 months she only really ever fed on one side and I was incredibly lopsided!
How she loved watching Esther and William play
Esther and William calling her Baby Tiger before they could say Baby Tilda
She will only ever be Baby Tilda to them, to all of us now
How she used to beam when she was pleased with herself
Her gurgles and giggles and how she used to babble and chat away to herself
Her wonderful nature
How she thought that everyone was only there to entertain her
Her love of people
How her smile lit up a room
Her beauty
Her breath
Things we must never forget
Thank you for sharing. Very beautiful!
Beautiful post about a gorgeous, happy girl who will never be forgotten. Her eyes were always beaming and smiling from what I have seen on your blog and tweets. She brought such joy in her short life.
Thinking of you all each day.
Sam
X
Such a beautiful girl.
Jennie, you can write what you want. This and all your social media are your spaces. Anyone who wants to take them away from you is just being churlish and cruel.
You write as you wish. Your space, your therapy, your friends. Scary, sad, grief, joy, love, remembrance, fear, despair, acceptance, anger. Write it all. You will be grateful for the record, I promise.
Beautiful girl. Not fair. A life to be without her. Not fair at all. So keep writing. This is how you mother her now. It is not enough, but it is what you have.
Well said x
Merry is wise and kind. Sending love to you and all babylost mamas reading this. Take the space to write what you like.
I will always remember you and baby Tilda, even though I never knew her. What a gorgeous little girl she was! You have been so blessed to have her, and she was truly blessed to be a part of your precious family.
What a gorgeous wee dote. I love the photo of her “scrunching up” best. So beautiful x
That is the best picture of her ever x
Beautiful post. Beautiful pictures.
Just like Merry said, Jennie please continue to express yourself however you wish. We are all here to support you. Whoever has been so cruel to suggest that you stop writing about how you feel needs to realise that they have the ability to unfollow or unlike or generally not read if they choose not to. The rest of us will be here reading your words and supporting you however we can. Thinking of you every day xxx
Beautiful photos, beautiful baby. She has gone too soon but has left memories that could never be erased.
Such happy memories and such a beautiful baby. So, so sad but she will never be forgotten. xxxx
An absolutely gorgeous post, she was such a happy and smiley baby. I adore the one of her flapping her arms.
That is my favourite too!!
Absolutely beautiful xx
Such a beautiful post to remember such a beautiful girl by.
Beautiful!
xxxx
beautiful words, that last photo of her is stunning….stunning 🙂
She was so gorgeous and such a personality, always remembered and never forgotten x x x
I’m so sorry for your loss. I can not begin to imagine. xx
Jennie, this is so soooo beautiful. What a lovely reminder of all the special things about Matilda Mae. Keep writing and sharing – blogging, tweeting etc. are all good therapy as I’ve said so many times before. You just do what you have to do, this is your space. We will keeping reading and sending you love xx
So beautiful. Keep writing whatever you want to, whatever you need to. You are doing her justice by writing the whole truth, the whole story. As Merry said, it’s your space. There are lots of people who will do anything they can to support you. The others are not worth bothering about. Those who matter don’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter.
So beautiful- I too love that photo. Thinking of you everyday x
Jennie, we will not forget!
Matilda Mae’s short but beautiful time on Earth has touched so many. And through you, David, Esther and William and all others who knew and loved her, her beautiful radiance will live on and her light shine.
Your strength and words are amazing. May they keep carrying you through the times to come.
Lots of love to you!
Jennie a wonderful post and gorgeous photos i love the one of her flapping her arms. And please do keep writing whatever you like or whatever you need i like many others will continue to read and always be thinking of you, you are an amazing women and mother. And any one who as been so cruel to you they can simply choose not to follow you or read. thinking of you and love to your family xxxx
Jennie – what gorgeous things to remember. I love all the pictures of her, but particularly the one of her when she was excited.
Thinking of you xxx
Beautiful! So many wonderful things to remember. My very favourite is the last photo. Thinking of you all, especially today x
Loved each and every photo of Baby Tilda. The lock of hair on her forehead made her look so cute.
Keep writing Jennie. xxx
It makes me very angry and disappointed to know that someone has dared say that your posts make them feel sad or frightened. Every post I read brings tears to my eyes, but my tears are for you and your husband and twins, not for myself. I hope you never feel that you can’t express yourself through this blog or your twitter. You are an exquisite writer and I hope this gives you an outlet.
Matilda Mae’s beauty shines through in every post.
With great love and hugs xxx
Beautiful post. Loved looking at the photos of your gorgeous Baby Tilda. I smiled though tears as I read your memories of her because she and my daughter sound so similar personality wise.
A beautiful post. We will all remember Matilda Mae, Baby Tilda. xxx
I think no one who read your story will ever be able to forget about Matilda Mae and now even people like me, who never really met her, will be able to remember her just as she was. Just beautiful!
Beautiful photos and memories to treasure forever! xxxx
Beautiful post, special memories and stunning photos x
What a beautiful, smiley, happy baby. I’m so sorry for your loss, I will be thinking of you and your lovely family on Thursday x
My mum had a daughter who died shortly after birth, before I was born. Her name was Rosemary. I remember going to lay flowers at her grave when I was a child. She was born 34 years ago. I have 4 younger brothers and sisters, and we all remember Rosemary as if she was a part of our childhoods. Something like this is never forgotten, and shouldn’t be. We still visit her grave; my dad’s ashes are buried with her now.
Give yourself time and love xx
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I’m so glad you have so many memories, and photos- though i know they are never enough. So glad you take the time to write them down, to deepen their imprint on your heart and mind. Beautifully written.
So beautiful, Jennie. Wonderful photos of beautiful Tilda xxx
Such a precious, special little girl. She will never be forgotten. xxx
Oh that scrunched up face! So adorable. Even when not scrunched up 🙂 Gorgeous memories, which must still be so difficult for you. You are so brave to share, helping others. xxxx