This month I am taking action for the #matexp campaign #FlamingJune initiative

One of my actions is shouting out about pregnancy and baby loss charities

Using my blog as a place to showcase the amazing work

Being undertaken by charities and volunteers

To improve the care of families, parents and babies

Including those who are sadly bereaved

Today I am shining a spotlight on the Kent branch of SANDS

I am honoured to know Louise who has answered my questions

For this profile of Kent SANDS, a branch of SANDS, the Stillbirth and neonatal death charity.

What does your charity do and why?
The 3 main aims of SANDS are to support anyone affected by the death of a baby, improve bereavement care by working in partnership with professionals and fund and promote research that could help to reduce the loss of babies lives.

How did your charity begin?
SANDS was founded in 1978 by a small group of bereaved parents devastated by the death of their babies, and by the total lack of acknowledgement and understanding of the significance and impact of their loss.

Can you describe a day in the life of your charity?
Every day is different in the life of Kent SANDS. We hold 3 monthly support meetings which are held in Barnehurst, Aylesford, and Ashford, so we may be running a group. We also supply memory boxes to 4 Kent hospitals, so often there are deliveries to be made. We fund SANDS bereavement guidelines training for Canterbury and Greenwich midwifery students, and send representatives to the training to talk about our experiences and the group. Some days we will be replying to emails or phone calls from parents who are seeking support. We hold memorial events in June and October each year, which all bereaved parents are welcome to come along to. At the moment I am organising applications for the annual Sands/Bliss/RCM conference which takes place in September. We sponsor midwives and neonatal staff from all our hospitals to attend. We have a baby memorial garden in Ashford, so some of our team will be looking after the garden. Every day is different.

How can people donate?
Donations can be made to National SANDS on their website. Donations to Kent SANDS can be made by contacting us at sandskent@googlemail.com

What more can people do? How can we get involved?
People can follow our Facebook page, Kent Sands to find out more about what is going on and also about our fundraisers. We also have a website www.kentsands.com. Bereaved parents who would like to offer support to others may like to consider training to become a Sands befriender. If thare are any knitters, head office is always looking for volunteers to knit the precious handknitted blankets that go into memory boxes. For further info, people can email sandskent@googlemail.com

Any top tips for organising a good fundraising event?
We usually try to combine our group fundraising events with raising awareness, or remembering our babies. Our annual Christmas party is a great evening, which is a good fundraiser for us, but we also aim to make it a special evening, where families can include all their children, with a balloon release and remembrance tree. But also with an understanding that Christmas can be a very hard time.
We also find that Waitrose and Asda’s green token schemes are a good way of raising awareness of our charity, and much needed funds.

What is your charity’s biggest achievement to date?
We are very pleased that we now fund a rolling programme of SANDS bereavement training in 2 universities. Our garden in Ashford is a massive achievement, and a really lovely place to visit to remember our babies.

What do you hope to achieve in the short term?
To reach more bereaved parents and to raise awareness of how common stillbirth is.

What are your dreams, long term goals for your charity?
Our dream is stillbirth prevention. We would love for there to be no more need for our charity. More research is needed to help to decrease the tragedy of babyloss.

What is the one thing you wish people knew or understood about babyloss or grief?
I wish that people realised that the grief of babyloss is long lasting, and support needs to be longlasting too. I also wish that people knew that having another baby does not take away the grief of losing a much loved and wanted baby.

Do you have a favourite quote or saying?
“The mention of my child’s name may bring tears to my eyes, but it never fails to bring music to my ears. If you are really my friend, let me hear the beautiful music of his name. It soothes my broken heart and sings to my soul.”

Who or what is your inspiration?
My baby, Sofia, is my inspiration.

This month is #matexp month of action, where do you feel there are gaps in our maternity services?
I wish that stillbirth was discussed more in normal pregnancy care, so that people could understand that stillbirth is not incredibly rare. We all want to make informed choices about our pregnancies, and need all the information to do so.
I think that there are big gaps in post-natal care for families who have lost a baby. Many have no offer of much needed counselling. Often once mothers are signed off by their midwife, and have had a meeting with their consultant to discuss any results, they receive no further contacts from professionals. Communication is also often a weakness, with many Mums being asked to take their baby to their 6 week check.

What can we do to make pregnancy, birth and early parenting better for all?
I think that helping people to meet others in similar situations can be a big help. I also think that a real honesty and acceptance of difference would be helpful. As parents it is so easy to be defensive of our choices, when all of our circumstances are different, and what is right for one person, would be wrong for another.

What more can we do to support bereaved families?
I would love to see more professional support available for bereaved families post-natally. I would also like to see a national care pathway for the care of berevaed families.

Thank you Louise for answering my Charity Chat questions. SANDS is such an important charity, locally and nationally.

This month the charity has it’s annual awareness month. Please do support them, by turning orange for them, if you can.

If you run a pregnancy or babyloss charity and would like to feature in my Charity Chat please do get in touch