Six months ago we left our home

For building works to begin

We had no idea then

The size and scale of the project

No clue how long it would take

How hard it would be

For all of us

We are all drained

Physically, emotionally and financially

It has been a very long six months

And now the pressure is on to move home

So much has been achieved in the past half a year

David has overseen the beginning of the project

And is now finishing most of it himself

It is hard work

We are now at a point

Where we want and need to move back in

The house is not finished

But it is time for us to move back

We had hoped that today might be the day

I got up this morning

Packed everything we would need for today and tonight

Packed everything the children need for all their classes tomorrow

Went shopping for food and cleaning products

And bits for the house

But when it came to it

I knew in my heart that the house is just not ready

I seem to be the only person that thinks it is not ready

But for me I think another couple of days could make a real difference

At the moment the floor is not fully laid downstairs

Because of this to get something from the fridge

Or to get a drink of water

Or to go to the loo

You have to put on your outside shoes

Which is fine when you are there for a few hours

But not so great when you have done it

Ten or twenty times

There is no toilet upstairs

So once the children are ready for bed

Decide they need a wee

They would then have to put outside shoes on

Go downstairs

To the toilet there

And they would need an adult to help them

As there is not yet a banister on the stairs

We are all desperate to go home

But I think spending a few days

Doing a few little things

That will make a big difference

Is important

I want us to all be happy and safe

In our home

I am not being difficult

I am being practical

I am doing what mummy is supposed to do

This week has been a bad week

Bea and I have both been poorly with a sickness bug

I have had an infection in my foot

Meaning I was supposed to rest with my foot elevated

And have been in a lot of pain

We have had lots of classes and Home Ed commitments

And on top of all that I am pregnant

I know David is frustrated

I know I have not helped as much as I should

I know all of that

But none of it means

I do not see and appreciate all of David’s hard work

As always I am in awe of David and his many talents

His vision and his drive

His grit and determination to get things done

I love him for all of those things

But we are not all able to be like him

Especially with three small children

At home full time

With needs and bugs and places to be

I know I am not as happy and positive as I could be

I am an emotional wreck at the moment

Hormones yes

But also when we moved out

Six months ago

I always envisaged

I realise now naively

Moving back into a finished house

Ready for us to unpack

And make our home

I did not know then

That the main stay of professionals

Would leave months before it was done

And David would finish the job on his own

Neither David or I thought it would take anywhere near this long

We had not intended to spend any where near as much money as we have

We did not realise the extent of the damage and the dust

To the rooms not being touched

It has been a steep learning curve for us all

It has and continues to really test us

And yes

We are so very lucky

It will be wonderful when it is finished

But we don’t really know when that will be

I have been looking forward for so long

To playing my part at this stage of the process

And I cannot wait to move home

I understand about making it all a big adventure

But I am also a pregnant mother of three small children

And sometimes our heads have to rule our hearts

Tomorrow I am seeing my sister

A night and day away in London for my 40th

Will now be 4 snatched hours between trains

Much of which time taken up with

Collecting Esther from her classes and taking her home

I am not going to feel guilty for taking that time

I hardly ever see my little sis

Then Sunday I will work hard at the house

Cleaning and sorting

Packing and unpacking

Making it ready

And next week we can start anew

Next week can be the week

We find the way back home