Today has on the whole been a lovely day
The Christmas music has been on
The children loved their advent box
We have been carolling and colouring
And I am excited for our month to come
But lurking in the shadows
Has been this fear and foreboding
This feeling that something is just not right
I am 17 weeks pregnant
I feel like this week is lasting forever!
I have felt no movement
And I know it is early days
But my placenta is posterior and high
This is my fifth baby
I thought I might be feeling something by now
On top of the stillness
I seem to be leaking
I panicked myself
That I might losing my waters or amniotic fluid
But after extensive reading
And a consultation with Dr Google
I think that I am experiencing increased discharge
Lovely, I know!
All the glamour this pregnancy is bringing me
I bet you are all SO jealous!
Seriously though
It has really cast a shadow on my day
The leaking
And the feeling that my bump
Though definitely bump like
Seems a little small
I am definitely aware of my bump
And I am experiencing pretty normal
Aches and pains
I just wish I could feel my baby moving
And I wish there was a way of knowing for sure
That things are okay
That our Sprinkle is doing okay
I think my general anxiety
Is becoming pregnancy anxiety
And I need to find a way to stop worrying
Because it will not be doing me
Or my baby any good
I am aware that I am painting a very bleak picture of pregnancy at the moment
I do not mean to
But I do think we need to be honest
About what we experience and how we feel
And today
Amongst the colouring and the carolling
There has been fear and foreboding
And this sense that something is just not right
Please hurry up 22nd December
And our anomaly scan
Please be okay in there little Sprinkle
We all already love you
We cannot wait to meet you
We all so desperately want to bring you home
Ahh you have a such a lovely bump…is there anyone you can see just to set your mind at rest? Pregnancy pays havoc on our minds doesn’t it, can never relax!! Our scan is also on the 22nd seems so far away! I’ve found my social anxiety has heightened again, I’m guessing it must be the hormones, I work myself up about going in other people’s cars (I don’t drive so often have lofts to social things)! Take care xx
Ah bless you, I had anterior placenta with first and felt her move 5/6 times a month if I was lucky. We had a v good early preg unit where you could go if you had reduced movements so if I ever felt worried instinctively (because clearly I couldn’t got every day but yet most days I had no movement) I would go in. They never minded and always took me serious. Not a great deploy help but wanted to say I understand how hard it is when they don’t move X
Considering your history, I think you’re well within your rights to ask if the midwife can try and listen in or send you for a scan. It takes minutes for them to reassure you, but that reassurance means everything.
Aww! Your bump is just beautiful…
I hope you feel some movements soon. It must be so worrying.
Sending love and hugs x
After all sorts of trauma with my pregnancy for Baby No. 1, I decided I couldn’t live in a state of panic for Baby No. 2. So I hired a fetal doppler for the pregnancy. And any time I was concerned, I used it, heard the heatbeat and went on with my day. For me, the peace of mind was priceless.