#matildamaegiveaway: Mia Tui

Five years ago

Our beautiful baby girl


She was 9 months old

The night she died

My heart broke in two

And my world fell apart

The kindness of strangers

Close friends and family

Kept me going

Helped me exist

People helped us do the day to day

But people also went above and beyond

People from all walks of life

Came together

And shouted our daughter’s name out loud

People like Mia Tui

Who named one of their beautiful bags

Matilda Mae

In June 2013

I was given the very first ever

Matilda Mae bag from Mia Tui

matilda mae bag

I now own several of these beautiful bags in different colours

I like to carry Matilda Mae with me in this way

And now you could be able to too

Over on my Instagram feed

Mia Tui are giving away two bags

In Tilda’s name

As part of the #matildamaegiveaway


This giveaway has been running for a month

The amount of time between Tilda’s death

And her final goodbye

The time we were left in limbo

Not quite knowing what we were meant to do

How we were meant to carry on

The time I spent writing, rewriting

Planning and re planning Tilda’s funeral

The time we only made it through each day

With the help of others

The time all David wanted to do was sleep

The time I could not sleep

A month of days of tears and cries

Shouts and screams

Such raw agony and pain

I can still feel it now

The time each year that I am so aware

How long we waited

While our baby’s body was examined

Cut open

Stitched back together

Trying to find a cause of death

The time we chose a coffin

A casket

The time our living children suffered such confusion

How Esther would not go in the bath

How William could not name all the people coming in and out of our house

And so he just called them the colour of their top layer or coat

A month is such a long time

To be caught between life and death

I feel now that I have been caught there

For five years

Not knowing how to be happy

Not knowing how to live again

This year has been especially hard

Five years

Our beautiful daughter would be almost 6 now

Sometimes none of this feels real

I feel like I am writing fiction

About another mother

A different family

Some other little girl

And yet in my broken heart I know

It is me

It is us

She was ours

Our Matilda Mae

Please help us to continue shouting her name out loud

By joining in the #matildamaegiveaway on Instagram

And trying to win a Mia Tui bag in her name


Thank you x

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