As we countdown to Christmas without Matilda Mae

I find that keeping myself busy is really helpful

We have lots of exciting adventures planned for December

As we Live For Tilda

But we are also going to be taking some peaceful family time

Including having Christmas Day on our own

Which I am super excited about

As we can truly include Matilda in our whole day

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As our living children get excited about Christmas and open the first door of their advent calendars. We light a candle for #matildamae and fill her memory garden with Christmas lights. This is such a wonderful joyous time of year but when one of us is missing and that hurts every day. This Christmas Matilda would have been 7 and full of all the fun of the season. I wonder what she would write in her letter to Father Christmas. I wonder what her favourite festive food would be. What Christmas story would she ask to have read aloud over and over again. So many what ifs. One of the reasons I try so hard to keep busy during advent is because in all honesty I find it so so hard to get up and out at all. Everything I do I do for my children including our forever Baby Tilda. And while I portray the perfect symbol of Christmas cheer as I fall asleep I am crying and inside my heart is breaking for that one magical Christmas that was and the many many more there should have been. Tonight our lights shine bright for Baby Tilda, our baby in the sky x #adventtoremember #adventfortilda #adventformatildamae #edspireadventadventures #babyloss #babylossawareness #bereavedmother #bereavedsiblings #babylossatchristmas #bereavedparents #loss #grief #grievingatchristmas #advent #memorygarden #christmaslights

A post shared by Family Blogger UK 😊Jennie (@edspire) on Dec 1, 2019 at 10:55am PST

As we count down to that very special celebration

We are going to be trying to carry out

As many Acts Of Kindness as we can

Kindness to ourselves

Our friends and family

As well as the wider community

Our plans over the coming weeks are to

Donate children’s books to our local children’s ward

Donate baby items to the NICU where Esther and William spent their first 59 days

Donate adult books to the secondhand bookshop at Sissinghurst

Give out festive food to homeless people

Donate a box of food and gifts to the food bank via our church

Surprise some people who have been kind to us in our home education

Invite our friends to our house for carol singing, mulled wine and mince pies

Donate toys we have outgrown to local charity shops and family focused charities

Deliver cookies to our neighbours

Donate clothes to a local shelter

Donate to the Book Trust Christmas Appeal

Sponsor a child for the year ahead

Buy a big cat at The Big Cat Sanctuary something from their Amazon Wishlist

We love you and miss you in starlight Baby Tilda

We do all we do in your memory

#adventtoremember #adventfortilda #edspireadventadventures

Let the advent adventures commence!