Back in April we were part of a campaign to celebrate the 10th anniversary of one of our favourite books, Oliver Jeffers’ How To Catch A Star This is a very special Matilda Mae book for us and I read … Continue reading
Today has been a rainy and windy day Such a contrast from the sunshine of yesterday But I am glad for the rain today I am glad for the rain and the puddles As I sit and watch tears fall … Continue reading
This month is World Prematurity Awareness Month This is my fourth year being a part of this global event As Esther and William enter their fifth year of life Five years! When they were born We were not sure they … Continue reading
I cannot believe that it has already been a week since The Baby Show I had such a wonderful day with my sister and Ami, from Beebies Baby Store Even though we left home while it was still dark and … Continue reading
Back in June as part of the Asobi Ambassador programme We tested and reviewed some Creative Collage Kits from The Orb factory Which we loved The Orb Factory is a brand known to us As back in 2013 Esther and … Continue reading
Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn and cauldron bubble. Fillet of a fenny snake, In the cauldron boil and bake; Eye of newt and toe of frog, Wool of bat and tongue of dog, Adder’s fork and blind-worm’s sting, … Continue reading
Today it hit me like a wave of steel
It knocked me off my feet before I was even out of bed
Grief gripped me and it would not let go
Trapped in it’s vice like grip
I knew today was going to be an emotional day
Baby Bea is struggling with her tummy
She has not pooed for a day or two
And so is restless and wriggly
And not her usual chilled out self
Our beautiful Rainbow Baby
Is also looking, and acting,
More and more like her big sister in the sky
It makes me happy to see Tilda in Bea
At the same time it shreds my heart
The absolute unfairness of our lives
All blessed for knowing and loving Tilda
All cursed
Forever broken
Never to be whole again
Every milestone that my Earth children reach
Reminds me of the ones Tilda will never see
Every birthday celebrated by family and friends
Is an age that Tilda will never be
All the places she will never go
People she will never know
It makes me so sad
And as the 2nd looms again
I am drowning in the horror of it all
My baby died!
Today our nephews came to play
They were asking lots of questions about Tilda
Prompted by the photos we have around
Where Tilda looks so much like Bea
Where Bea and Tilda look the same
They could see the similarities
They wanted to know if the photos were Tilda or Bea
Granny explained that Tilda had died
I am so glad Granny was there
They wanted to know how Tilda had died
A question for which we have no answer
They asked why Tilda died
And were very concerned that Bea may die too
As Bea was unsettled they asked why she was crying
I explained that her tummy is poor today
They wanted to know if Bea was poorly, would she die?
It must be so hard for children to understand
All their questions with no answers
Nothing that is easy for them to understand
Nothing that is satisfactory for any of us to accept or understand
I am so glad Granny was with us today
It is funny that today I woke up feeling sad about Tilda
And then all the questions came
Esther and William are incredibly emotional and tired at the moment
Especially William, especially today
I think they are exhausted from their first term at big school
And also fighting a virus and bugs picked up along the way
William was utterly wiped out this afternoon
At 4pm he was asking for his bath and bed
Curled up on Bea’s changing mat
No smiles or laughter
I have never seen him like that
As soon as any of our children are slightly ill
The panic does set in
The helplessness of knowing there is nothing we can do
Mixed with the emotion of knowing there was nothing we could have done
It all gets muddled on an emotional day
Today was an emotional day
On Sunday it is the second of November
One year since the welly walk for Matilda Mae
21 months since our baby girl was cruelly snatched away
Died
SIDS
On Sunday we will go to the sea
Daddy, Mummy, Esther, William and Bea
We will blow bubbles to our angel baby in the sky
Send our love on the waves
From the sea to the stars
We love you and we miss you Matilda Mae
We will love you and miss you for all of our days
Our Water Baby
Esther and William love having an activity set up ready for them when they return from school
Autumn is a lovely season for small world play
So many seasonal things can be included
Conkers, apples, acorns, corn
So many wonderful woodland or farmyard animals
Harvest time is an inspirational time for sensory play
This month I made Esther and William individual autumn worlds of play
Esther has a forest floor in a box
While William has a farm in a tray
Both spaces are very small
But are proving to be just what we need for a small window of play after school
Esther’s box was inspired by one of our favourite autumn stories
Squirrel’s Autumn Search
I lined the box with felt
Red, brown, golden, green
I then poured rice on to it
I added piles of pasta
To be log pile houses
Animal dens
We added berries and conkers
Acorns and stones
Autumn leaves were strewn around
And then the animals were added
Squirrels and hedgehogs
Rabbits and hares
Badgers and birdies
Foxes and moles
Before adding the creatures and seasonal bits
We used the rice for some mark making
We made letters from our names
And the initial sounds of our autumn collections
S for squirrel
E for Esther
C for conker
A for Autumn
In William’s tray was a smaller version of his Harvest Farm
He loves ploughing the fields with his mini tractors
And loading their trailers
He loves gathering feed for his animals
How I love to watch him play
How I love to watch them both play
Together as they so often do
Or independently as in this instance
How I love to listen to the stories that they tell
The scenarios they concoct
The voices they give their characters
How I love to listen to them play
Esther and William love small world play
And so do I
It encourages talking and listening as children play together or at least alongside each other
It allows children to create stories around things they know or often stories they have read
It helps children to process ideas and new concepts
It allows children to communicate their thinking, their feelings, their fears
It enables adults to find out what new things children have been doing as they bring them into their play
This has been really useful for me since Esther and William started school
Small world play gives children a tiny space of their own
To fill with the things they enjoy
To fill with their imaginations
And how I love to watch them play
Here are some of my other small world play posts
For the last few weeks I have been blogging for The Baby Show.
I have been so excited writing posts for The Baby Show Blog and my own.
I am hoping that Bea and I will continue to represent the show as it moves to Excel in February and on to the NEC in May.
We had a lovely day at the show on Friday.
It is no secret at all that I adore The Baby Show.
This time I felt that even though I was busy all day I did not get to see nearly as much as I wanted to.
I have decided that for Excel I am going to stay overnight with Bea so that we can make the most of the show and the travelling will not be so stressful.
Though I have to say actually our journey was not too bad. With the help of Ami, from Beebies Baby Store, we got the train straight to Charing Cross and then cabs from the station to the show.
We arrived nice and early at the show and was able to feed and change Bea in the press room.
It was here that Bea and I fell in love the Stokke Care. Bea liked it so much I think we totalled 8 nappy changes throughout the day!
The Stokke Care is a high quality and high in height baby change unit. I did not have to bend over at all to be able to easily change Bea and chat to her while doing so. This close interaction is enabled by the high unit and the carefully left space for feet at the bottom, allowing you to stand in really close.
Bea was happy to lie on the change mat, staring at the chandelier on the ceiling. Need to get me one of those!
The Stokke Care is designed so that you are facing baby as you change her and not standing side on.
I have admired the Stokke Care from afar for a long time but have not used one before, and I am glad to say that seeing it up close and testing it out so very many times (!) it did not disappoint.
I love the high side bars meaning that Bea was safe as she attempted to roll.
And I adore the way in which the Care, as with all Stokke furniture, grows with the child. This is a real investment piece that over time can be used by all the family before being handed down for the next generation.
We visited the Stokke stand at the show to say hello to our friend Lisa. Bea enjoyed a cuddle while I looked at the Stokke Trailz.
If like me you live in a tiny village surrounded by fields and hills with all local walks involving tractor tracks and muddy footpaths. This is the pram for you.
If like me you enjoy walking across the Downs or other countryside in all weathers. This is the pram for you.
If you enjoy walks by the sea and want to take your pram across the sand. This is the one for you.
This is not a city dweller. The Stokke Trailz is built for the great outdoors. I have finally found a pram I think my husband might get excited about.
Those wheels! That suspension! The promise of adventures to come!
This started off as a general post about The Baby Show but I ended up gushing about Stokke instead.
I have a history of doing this!
My apologies my round up of The Baby Show is still to come
Very soon!
I am the official blogger for The Baby Show but I have not been paid by them or by Stokke for writing this post.
Tomorrow is the last day of Esther and William’s first term at school The weeks have flown by at speed The end of term for Esther and William Is also the end of the fourth trimester for Baby Bea And … Continue reading