A day of clouds and sunshine

A day of light and dark

Bright and shade

Sunlight and shadow

A day of rain then sun

And yet the rainbow respectfully stayed away

Today was not a day for rainbows

Today was a day for Matilda Mae

Today we went back to the place

Where we spent Tilda’s birthday last year

We went to the Headland Garden

In Polruan, near Fowey

The people there were so friendly

As we made our way down the cliff side

Winding past the bluebells

To Tilda’s special beach

It seemed so changed from last year

Which made me feel so sad

So much has changed since last year

We all have changed and grown

Everyone has aged a year

Except Matilda Mae

Everything today was a reminder of how far we have come

Leaving our daughter behind

And it hurts so much to know

That every time we visit that place

We will all have changed and grown a little more

We will have left Baby Tilda a little further behind

Locked up tight in our hearts and our memories

I can’t stand it

It makes me feel so scared

It is becoming harder and harder to persuade myself

That this is all some terrible mistake

And life will just go back to normal one day

Tomorrow our daughter should be two

Instead we will tonight wrap presents for her siblings

Dress the house for a party that has no guest of honour

But I cannot, will not, let her day go unmarked

Tomorrow is Baby Tilda’s birthday

And we will remember her

In all that we do we will honour her

And celebrate the too short time that we had with her

Were blessed and lucky enough to have her in our lives

But inside my heart will shatter all over again

Into tiny shards that will pierce my body and soul

For all days

Because I should be able to wake up in the morning

And kiss my little girl happy birthday

Not send her wishes and kisses to the sky

I should be beaming with pride tomorrow

Admiring how much Tilda has changed and grown

Not feeling sad and scared

That we are all growing

All changing

All moving on in time

From our baby in the sky

We love you Matilda Mae

Baby Tilda

Happy 2nd birthday in the sky