Today David and I are in London with Matilda Mae.
We are at a wedding.
Esther and William are entertaining Granny and Grandad at home.
I have been looking forward to this night away for ages.
I bought new shoes, a £240 dress.
The wedding was at 4.30pm.
By 9.15pm I was in my Melba nursing pyjamas snuggling up with Matilda Mae.
This is where I want to be.
Snuggled up with my baby in my arms.
I am missing the toddler twins too.
So why am I always seeking an escape?
I love lying here watching Matilda sleep.
She is so peaceful.
So tiny on the expanse of crisp white hotel sheets.
I am drinking her in and wishing we had more times like these.
Have I really missed out because I have never been a mother of one?
Her little hands are resting on my chest.
She keeps reattaching herself to me for a sleepy feed.
We could not be closer than we are in this moment.
It is beautiful.
I am totally and utterly in love.
There is nowhere I would rather be.
Though I would love to have my beautiful two with me here too.
I am going to read this post and remember this feeling when a day at home is hard
Because above all else