100 Days

One baby learned to crawl

One tired baby put to bed after a gentle evening feed

One heart stopped beating

One baby stopped breathing

One Mummy screamed into the night

One Daddy tried in vain

One fast drive to the hospital

One long slow lonely journey home

One family forever broken

Two siblings shocked and confused

Two parents grieving and bruised

One blog

The way to get through

The darkest, loneliest earliest nights

One week gone

A break away

Another week gone

One month

One planner

One writer

One thinker

One creator

One casket

One wooden star

One funeral

One cremation

Two months gone

One inquest

One death certificate

One solitary cause of death

Sudden Infant Death

So many questions

To which there are no answers

One wonderful holiday

Three months dead

One first birthday

One wooden boat

One body sent to the sea

One walk

Many walks

One auction

Many prizes

Such kind and generous donations and bids

MMMA is open!

One family

So many wonderful friends

One blogger

One amazing community

100 days

Without Matilda Mae

So long and yet no time at all.

We miss you Matilda Mae x

19 thoughts on “100 Days

  1. One inspiring and beautiful friend. Love you, Jennie. Always in my thoughts, even when it may not seem like it. Still can’t believe and don’t want it to be true xx

  2. It seems like a strange thing to say, but I want to say WELL DONE to you Jennie for not just surviving this 100 days without your beautiful daughter, but for living them with such bravery and grace and selflessness and honesty. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone take the worst life can offer and keep sifting the grains of beauty and happiness out of the sands of grief day after day in such an amazing way, allowing grief to find you honestly but also bouncing up off the ground when you can (which is often). You are an absolute inspiration and I’m so amazed, but so, so, so sad. When I die, hopefully when I’m an old, old lady I have a serious date in my next-world schedule to see you and Matilda Mae together again together reunited. After being reunited with whichever loved ones wait for me, I think that will be top of my list of things to do on the other side. I’ll keep that date for sure. xxxxxx

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  4. Oh Jennie bless you – you amazing lady are so so brave – it is so unbearable to even imagine & SIDS is so utterly cruel because of the hideous fact it strikes from absolutely nowhere…..I wish there was just one way out of 100 that this whole thing would go away because speaking as a fellow mummy – no mummy should have their baby taken from them in this completely senseless & unexplainable way. Thinking of you as always & always remembering your shining star. Hugs for you all & look at what you’ve achieved for The Lullaby Trust xxx

  5. Oh Jennie how can it be 100 days? It hurts me no less than it did the very first moment I read. You have came this far and already achieved amazing things, may your beautiful writing continue to help. I hope your beautiful girl can see all that her Mummy has done xxx

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  7. One family that will always be together, wherever you are… and 100 nights with shining stars. You are one amazing person who really writes wonderful.

  8. I can’t believe it’s been so long already Jennie, it seems like only this morning that I read your tweet, like only yesterday that I held her. We will always remember that smile and those eyes.

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