We associate Tilda with the night sky

Tilda is a star now, Esther and William will say

She has gone to play with the stars

Whenever the sky is pink and purple

It is known by so many

As a Tilda Sky

Pink and purple are her colours

The sky is her domain

Perhaps it is because I am not a morning person

That I do not associate the sunrise with her

I associate the sunrise with Baby Harry

The angel baby of a very dear friend

One of the saddest stories and bravest mummies I know

Melissa has held my hand since Tilda died

She, like so many others

Is further ahead of me on the path of grief

And though she still finds life hard

She has also found some peace

And is trying to help me find mine

She understands the pain I experience every day

Every single day

Each time the sun comes up

One child too few gets up out of bed

One child too few eats breakfast

One too few sets of teeth to clean

One child too few on the school run

The emptiness of my home and heart

When Esther and William are at school

The bittersweet warmth of rainbow baby cuddles

Knowing that longing for a baby

Is as much longing for the one that can never come back

As longing for a baby brand new

Knowing that days after the special days are hard

Knowing the lead up can be littered with stabs to the heart

Understanding why Christmas and birthdays are hard

Knowing that tiny little things can make such a big difference to a day

Knowing what to say

Realising when not to say anything at all

Tilda brought many special and amazing people into my life

Some with stories that will break your heart

Melissa is a beautiful soul

A dear friend who cares for our family as much as I have fallen in love with hers

And every morning when the sun comes up

As the sun rises in the sky

As I remember that Tilda is still not here

And never can be again

I take one minute and I close my eyes

And I pray for Melissa and our babies in the sky

And thinking of him and his mummy

I whisper,

Good Morning Harrison

Here comes the sun!