I am feeling quite agitated this evening.
Unsettled.
Esther and William seem unsettled too.
After a very rainy day in Brighton and a lot of time spent in the car on the M25 we are all a bit out of sorts.
David is as always being amazing and sorting things round the house.
I am sitting here and thinking, so what next?
What next for us as a family?
What next for me as a mummy and as me?
What next for this blog?
I have some ideas and I would love to share them with you.
Family
To get Esther and William settled back into a routine of activities
To potty train Esther and William
To create Esther and William a wonderful bedroom that is peaceful safe haven for them
To move Esther and William from their cots to their new bedroom and beds
Sort out what is in the loft, insulate and add storage so it becomes a walk in store?!?
To renovate our bedroom including making my window seat full of Tilda’s things
To plan what we want and need to do next with our house
To plan in some special days and events throughout the coming year so that we always have something to look forward to
Me
Take some time for myself to write my blog and to grieve for Matilda
Plan and plant Matilda’s memory garden
Get into a housework routine that keeps things tidy and organised
Plan play activities for Esther and William
Get outside every day
Plan some date nights with David and enjoy being part of a couple again
Seriously think about the possibility of a Baby Number 4
Edspire
To continue to write a diary of my days and how I am coping without Matilda Mae
To get back to documenting our play activities
To raise awareness of SIDS
To work with baby charities including Bliss, Tommy’s and FSID
To organise and promote our Mile in Memory of Matilda Walk on 11th May 2013
To go to Brit Mums and Cybher to learn how to improve my blog and use it as a vehicle for doing good
To document the changes and improvements we make to our house and garden
To write letters about family life to our darling Matilda Mae
So what next?
Quite a lot really.
I hope that is okay.
Keeping our little star shining (thank you Ruth x )
Each and every one of these plans sounds just perfect, Jennie. And I couldn’t help but smile with happiness at the last two you’ve mentioned for yourself. Can’t wait to see you at BritMums (I can’t go to Cybher as I’m away). Thinking of you, always xx
She will be so, so proud of you xxx
All those plans sound great Jennie. Can’t wait to meet you at BritMums
With Matilda smiling down your family has a wonderful future. So looking forward to reading as your plans continue to take shape x
Jennie, as ever you are an inspiration! Now that I have met you I know more than ever that you will make your plans happen. I truly hope you can find some peace to move forward, when you are ready.
xxxxx
Ps I also cannot wait to see you at brit mums. SO glad you’re coming xx
Sounds perfect.. But also quite a lot! The get out every day is a good when. When I grieved that is often very difficult but soooo important. It’s amazing what a nice brisk walk can do, even if it’s only blow out cobwebs or smile at a stranger.
Keeping busy is key I found, no doubt this will be inevitable with toddler twins!
Now that Matilda’s funeral has happened, the danger is of sinking due to less to focus on, you are doing right to focus on things.
Your strength is nothing short of amazing and hopefully you can still
feel all of our virtual hugs and arms supporting you through. I hope that this can help
act as some sort of comfort to you.
Take care of yourself and continue to do what you must do to help
your healing.
May you find some peace xx
Writing this list looks like such a healthy thing to do in itself and there are so many beautiful ideas here – wishing you peace as you fulfil each one x
if that is what you want then it sounds perfect. I wasn’t going to go to any of the conferences this year but would so love to give you a hug so might have to see what I can manage
take time to grieve and keep talking and posting xx
I’m a mother of twins 2 I’m always thinking about U and about all of this. I’m thinking about your twins?how they r in all of this?
That is an amazing list, perfect, with many things I hope and plan to do with my family and husband.
You have achieved so much as a mother and as you.
Take care of you and grieve, it’s o.k.
I think that this is amazing xx
Although I do not know you personally, (I feel as if I have intruded into your life over the past month), I have the utmost admiration for you. My family and I have also suffered a huge loss in recent months (my sister in law is Multiple Mummy), and whilst initially very cynical about the ‘virtual’ world of blogging, my family, especially my brother and I have found great comfort and friendship through this very powerful forum. I cannot even begin to imagine the despair and loss you are feeling, it iis so evident that you will turn this tragedy into something positive.
The love and support that is all around you, in person and virtually will ensure that you will never be alone.
Matilda Mae will always shine bright and will constantly watch over you.
Keep strong, and I truly hope that you and your family find the peace you yearn xxxx
I’m glad you are making plans, I know it helps you get through it all, and I’m looking forward to seeing you carry them out, particularly Matilda’s garden. Hope I get to meet you at britmums x
Hi Jennie, I am a new reader to your blog, i found out about your blog a day before beautiful Matilda Mae’s funeral and already i can feel what strength you have. I think your list is amazing, i think you’re amazing. I look forward to reading about all the wonderful things that you plan to do with your gorgeous twins and home, i also look forward to reading all the wonderful posts that you will write to keep Matilda Mae’s spirit alive.
Keep writing Jennie, your posts are inspirational x
What an inspiration you are and I felt I had to write to let you know – such wonderful plans and I would love to attend the Mile in Memory of Matilda and help on the SIDS awareness in any way I can. I have done a lot of research on this area as it is something that has always been close to my heart. I shall use this inspiration and try to do something about it now. You are remarkable x
Spot on Jennie, there are so many things in there but all of them good. Remember to try not to do too much all at once, keep your list and work towards them. Something a friend said to me what keep your goals in concrete and your timeline in sand that way if you hit hurdles you can get by them and still meet your goals! You are an inspiration Jennie – When I heard it was International Women’s Day today, I instantly thought of you. Take care x
you are truly amazing xxxx
Please blog about potty training! My son is a day older than Esther and William, and you’re such an amazing parent I really need to soak up your tips – excuse the pun! Everything you do is “gold standard”, and it’s always for your family, you are BRILLIANT! I can only aspire to be as good as you.
Did you consider going back to a theater group ? … Maybe when Esther and William start school in September… I always hoped I would see you and David on stage one day…
Love your plans 🙂
Astounded by your strength, amazing plans!!
It’s a great list. Take it one step at a time and I think it’s all achievable. Think of you as always xxx