It has really hit me today that Matilda is no longer here That everything I am doing at the moment Is because she is not here. Should I be grateful to her? For dying? Can I be happy for the … Continue reading
Missing My Matilda Mae
Category Archives: Parenting
Another Saturday
Saturday
The day she died
Saturday will always be the day she died
Saturday is the day that always comes too soon
I no longer look forward to the weekend
I am thinking of making a new weekend
Just for us
So we do not have to face another Saturday
But Saturday is Saturday
And they are coming thick and fast
11 Saturdays ago she died
Such a long time ago
Yet no time at all
So many Saturdays
Keeping busy
Never daring to stop
And think
And feel
And cry
Not until we are just adults
Until our beautiful children are sleeping
And safe in the land of their dreams
Then we can admit to one another
How horrific each Saturday is
How Saturday is
Ever ruined
For all time
For us
But in the sunshine hours
Through the time of daylight
We have our terrible twosome
Our troublesome tots
Our cheeky little monkeys
Our adorable toddler twins
And for them we make Saturday a good day
A busy day
We pack it full of food and fun
And celebration
And bubbles
For our tiny Baby Tiger in the sky
Saturday rests raw in my heart
But I will not let it pass without making my toddlers smile
And I know
That each week of 11 weeks
And each week ever after
Matilda will be smiling too
From her bouncy cloud
Or rainbow slide
She will be smiling too
We love you Baby Tilda
We miss you and remember you
In everything we do
In everything we learn and see
We do it for ourselves
But we do it all for you
You are our inspiration
To make the most of our days
Even the days that are Saturdays
What else is there to do?
Through our living
We honour you
We love you Tilda Mae
In everything we do
Every smile
They are all for you x
Messy Play for Matilda Mae: Painting Stones
Today’s offering was not planned as messy play, not even as messy art. It was supposed to be a time of making pretty painted stones to throw into the sea with Baby Tilda’s ashes. It was actually a practice run … Continue reading
A Woman’s Body Can Be So Cruel
First a baby dies But the body does not know The arms ache for the baby The heart longs for the baby The breasts produce milk for the baby The woman tries to control the milk Gradually reducing the amount … Continue reading
Ashes Etiquette
Yesterday I took Esther and William to Jumping Beans, one of their two favourite preschool classes. They were amazingly well behaved and really got into the drama and imaginary play. I realised that they are starting to behave like they … Continue reading
Mile in Memory of Matilda Mae at The Rare Breeds
As each day passes the realisation strikes harder, stronger and more relentlessly. We cannot turn back the clock. But we can make Matilda’s death do some good for others. We can honour her memory and create her legacy. You can … Continue reading
Happy Birthday Multiple Mummy
Some very kind and beautiful bloggers, friends and family wrote Matilda’s name in a multitude of ways soon after she died. Today we are sharing some of our favourite MMs From one MM in the sky to another. Happy Birthday … Continue reading
Sunshine Through My Window
Today has been the first truly sunny day since Matilda died. A day in which we have enjoyed our garden. Biking and scooting. Freshly mown grass. Water play. Exploring our forgotten garden. Remembering all the places Matilda Mae had been. … Continue reading
The Beginnings of an Idea – For a Book!!
I would like to write a book. A non fiction book. I want to tell my story. The Little Life of Matilda Mae. I want to tell the story of my beautiful baby girl. How she changed my world. How … Continue reading
The Lullaby Trust and Our Star of the Sea
Wednesday saw the FSID change their name to The Lullaby Trust. I asked fellow bloggers to write a post on that day with the theme of lullabies. I was absolutely overwhelmed with the response. I have been given so much … Continue reading