Over the next few weeks we are going to be exploring the night sky through stories, songs, arts and crafts and through all aspects of our play.

It is less than two weeks now until Baby Tilda’s anniversary.

One year of being an angel, a star in the sky.

Esther and William love the dark.

Torch walks are a regular activity now and we have regular torches and also ones that project stars and planets onto any surface you shine them on.

We also have star projectors that we use for our special Tilda times.

Last week we watched CBeebies Stargazing and also enjoyed Nina and the Neurons explorations of the night sky.

Esther and William kept asking if they could make a moon and so we did.

We made lots of different moons and still have more to finish and make.

We are loving our adventures with the night sky.

We started our exploration with Eric Carle’s Draw Me A Star.

Esther and I practised drawing stars, following the instructions in the book, we then cut them out and decorated them with tissue paper and glitter. The end results were rather lovely and I am going to do them again in a few days using tracing paper and tissue paper to make sun catchers for our windows.

Sticking with stars we decided to use felt as a background for a starry sky picture.

We created comets and shooting stars with glitter and glue then added different jewels and sparkly stars to adorn our skies.

I really love these felt skies. The are easy to make and they look stunning with all the different colours and textures.

We use stickers lots in our house. We used some lovely sparkly foam stars on shiny holographic paper to make a different starry sky.

Again these are really simple to make and an easy activity to set up and clear away. They are great travel activities too. Just some special paper and a pot of stickers and a long train journey is filled with starry fun.

We used space stickers to create a space scene. Again these were foam stickers that I bought from Amazon. We stuck them on to shiny card to make a striking space scene.

Once we had finished our stars and sky scenes, it was time to move on to the moon. We reminded ourselves all about the moon by reading I Took The Moon For A Walk and Jill Murphy’s, Whatever Next.

At the end of the story of I Took The Moon For A Walk there is an explanation of the phases of the moon.

We decided to paint a night sky and then make and paint the different phases of the moon.

For the night sky we made grey paint, hazy purple and shady blue by mixing white into the different colours. we then blended streaks of each colour together on the paper. We then added sparkle to the sky with glitter. Esther and William worked independently and I was really pleased with their results.

We used the same paint for the moon phases but tried to make them different from the sky so that they would stand out.

We made crescent moons, half moons and full moons using cardboard.

I was really pleased with the pictures when we put them all together.

Once we had looked at phases of the moon, Esther and William were keen to do it again. We used a slightly different approach with our second look at the moon. We painted the phases using marshmallows to create pattern and texture like craters on the moon. Esther and William loved this different approach and we didn’t eat too many of the mallows.

This activity has given me the idea of making Marshmallow Moons by sticking the marshmallows onto a moon shape to make a textured moon surface. I think it would be great fun to do and could look stunning.

Our current moon project is still very much a work in progress. Our paper mache moons. I think they deserve a blog post all of their own really but here is a sneaky peek of what we are trying to do.

Our playroom is becoming full of stars and moons and things from the sky, just in time for Tilda’s anniversary. We are loving all our different activities and they are quite therapeutic for mummy too.

We have lots more night sky project coming up.

I hope you will join us on our journey.

Through the skies.

The week started with a heavy heart

David took Esther and William out for the day

To give me some time to sort through our baby things

Many of them were Esther and William’s

Many of them were Tilda’s

Next month

After Tilda’s anniversary

We are starting work on improving the upstairs of our house

First will be the bathroom which is now alive and growing!!

And our bedroom

The bedroom we no longer use

Have not used since the night Matilda died

Our bedroom

Where our baby died

Where we and they tried to save her

Where I could not turn the light off

The light that shone

A spotlight on my beautiful baby

Dead

Too much hurt and pain

Overshadowed the fact that this was not just our room

But Tilda’s room

This is Baby Tilda’s room

The bedroom she shared with us every night of her life

She never had a nursery

Her room was our room

Which is why we now sleep on a mattress

On the floor of our lounge

David took Esther and William out so that I could sort through our room

We decided to donate Tilda’s things

All our baby things

To our local Sure Start Centre

From their they will be distributed to families in need

It feels like the right thing to do

I know no matter what

That we cannot use them again

Too many memories

Too much risk of heartache and pain

Nightmares and flashbacks

Of our baby gone too soon

On Monday

We took the things to the centre

Where the staff were so grateful

I told them all about Tilda

I seem to tell everyone we meet

The staff were so lovely to us

To David and I

They asked us if we were getting any support

And were genuinely concerned when we said we were not

They told us that Sure Start offer counselling

Right there at the centre

It is an ad hoc, drop in service

You just sign up for a session when you need one

They signed us up straight away

No forms, no questions

Just genuine care and concern

I wish we had known about the service sooner

Saying goodbye to Tilda’s things

And especially her beeautiful moses basket

Was really really hard

The next day

Tuesday

I just totally and utterly fell apart

My heart was breaking all over again

No parents should have to go through

What David and I have been through this past year

And continue to live with day by day

David was wonderful on Tuesday

Together we got through to bedtime

Then we cried

I cried and cried

And it helped

Crying helps

Sometimes all I need is

Someone to hold me and let me cry

Wednesday was a lovely day

My aunty and uncle came

As they always do

We love Wednesdays

We all have a little time to breathe

The week sailed by

As all weeks do

In a choppy sea of happiness and heartache

Tears and laughter

Messy play, art and craft

Storytelling, playing

TV watching

Sneezing and coughing

And loving each other

More than words can say

This was a week with a heavy heart

Supported and loved by family and friends

This was a week

Where we missed our baby girl

This was a week when every baby born

Felt like a dagger in my chest

This was a week consumed by loss

This was a week when a three year old boy died

And all the fear and pain and rage came rushing back

This was a week with a heavy heavy heart