Today should have been spent excitedly packing for a wonderful road trip as a family of five. We should be counting down the hours to leaving on a holiday planned specially to celebrate a baby’s first birthday. The boot should … Continue reading
In less than two months I will be in London for Brit Mums Live. Last year I attended the two day conference with my 8 week old daughter Matilda Mae. This year I am attending with friends I have made … Continue reading
We live in a big big house With a big big garden In the big big garden There is a big big tree Or at least There WAS a big big tree! Today the tree came down Now we have … Continue reading
A cheeky request from Matilda and Me If we have inspired you in any way please can you vote for us by clicking on the picture link below. Thank you x
Being Brave is … Waking up to face yet another day without Matilda Getting up in the morning and breakfasting with two children instead of three Putting out clothes in the morning for only two of your children Only two … Continue reading
I am sat in the sunshine Looking at our old house Where one year ago I was in the final week of my pregnancy with Tilda How I longed to meet her My beautiful Matilda Mae Named before she was … Continue reading
Dear Matilda Mae I wanted to try and write you a letter to let you know how we are getting along without you. We all miss you very much. We talk about you every day. Every time we see anything … Continue reading
It has really hit me today that Matilda is no longer here That everything I am doing at the moment Is because she is not here. Should I be grateful to her? For dying? Can I be happy for the … Continue reading
Saturday
The day she died
Saturday will always be the day she died
Saturday is the day that always comes too soon
I no longer look forward to the weekend
I am thinking of making a new weekend
Just for us
So we do not have to face another Saturday
But Saturday is Saturday
And they are coming thick and fast
11 Saturdays ago she died
Such a long time ago
Yet no time at all
So many Saturdays
Keeping busy
Never daring to stop
And think
And feel
And cry
Not until we are just adults
Until our beautiful children are sleeping
And safe in the land of their dreams
Then we can admit to one another
How horrific each Saturday is
How Saturday is
Ever ruined
For all time
For us
But in the sunshine hours
Through the time of daylight
We have our terrible twosome
Our troublesome tots
Our cheeky little monkeys
Our adorable toddler twins
And for them we make Saturday a good day
A busy day
We pack it full of food and fun
And celebration
And bubbles
For our tiny Baby Tiger in the sky
Saturday rests raw in my heart
But I will not let it pass without making my toddlers smile
And I know
That each week of 11 weeks
And each week ever after
Matilda will be smiling too
From her bouncy cloud
Or rainbow slide
She will be smiling too
We love you Baby Tilda
We miss you and remember you
In everything we do
In everything we learn and see
We do it for ourselves
But we do it all for you
You are our inspiration
To make the most of our days
Even the days that are Saturdays
What else is there to do?
Through our living
We honour you
We love you Tilda Mae
In everything we do
Every smile
They are all for you x
Today’s offering was not planned as messy play, not even as messy art. It was supposed to be a time of making pretty painted stones to throw into the sea with Baby Tilda’s ashes. It was actually a practice run … Continue reading