So May is over

Our Month of Mae

Tilda’s birthday

Our visit to Coombe Mill

The Mile in Memory

The Baby Tilda Barn Dance

All over and gone

It has been a hard month

May will always be her month

Tilda’s month

We will always walk our mile

Visit the place where her ashes set sail

Make cakes for her birthday

And try to find our peace

By lakes, rivers and seas

This was her month

Our month for her

Our Month of Matilda Mae

As I look back on all we have done

All that has happened in our angel daughter’s name

I cannot help but feel proud

Not only of what we have done

To remember Tilda

To raise money and awareness for The Lullaby Trust

But also how we have carried on

Stayed strong as a family

It is not always easy

Missing one daughter

Growing another

And being mummy to almost four year old twins

It is not easy much of the time

But I am proud of how we are doing

Of what our family is becoming

As we continue on

Little by little

One hour of one day at a time

We carry on with love

For one another

And the most beautiful love of all

The relationship that is growing between Esther and William

What wonderful friends they are

What magical stories they weave

And awesome adventures they embark upon

Together

Together in their growth

Together in their love

Together in their grief

Together in their fun

Their learning

Their mischief

I look back at the Month Of Mae

At all that we have done

At all that love has done

And I know

I can feel it in my bones

That these two treasures

So wrapped up in one another

Are going to be okay

More than okay

They are our miracles

They are our life

Under the watchful eye of Baby Tilda

May they always love life the way they do now

May they always feel joy the way they do now

May they always laugh the way they do now

May they always trust the way they do now

May they always feel secure the way they do now

And when they cannnot

May they always have one another

May they always be loyal to one another

Protective of one another

May they always be confident in the love of the other

May they always have each other

And Baby Tilda in their hearts

On Saturday we travelled to Warrington

To join our friends walking a mile in memory

A mile in memory of Matilda Mae

We were on our way to The Lakes

For a week of lake side living

And our friends agreed to help us

Hold Tilda’s Mile in Memory on the way

Heather, Susanne and Lisa worked hard to put together the perfect day

Last year our miles were big events

But this year I wanted something smaller

A special time in a special place

With special people

To remember our very special little girl

We walked at Walton Gardens

The sun was blazing down

The children loved the play park

Esther and William could not believe there was a Helter Skelter there!

We played and talked and set the walk

The very lovely Minty adorned us all

With Baby Tilda stars

And then we walked

We walked and talked

We remembered

It was a perfect pink and purple day

The walk was signposted with pink and purple balloons

The park was filled with pink and purple flowers

Including some very beautiful Baby Tilda bluebells

That made us think back to our first mile last year

It was wonderful to see all the children playing together

But tugged at my heart knowing the reason we were there

I could see all day the places she should be

Trying to copy the older children

Rolling down the hill

Esther and William had a wonderful time

Blowing bubbles

Catching bubbles

Remembering their sister

They even spotted pink and purple things

While riding on the train

It was a wonderful family day

A picnic in the park

And we remembered

As another year has passed

Without Matilda Mae

It will soon be 16 months that she has been gone

It just does not seem possible

Soon she will have been dead

For twice as long as she was alive

Another milestone I am dreading

Though of course it coincides exactly

With the expected arrival of our Rainbow

The mile in memory was magical

Just like Matilda Mae

I wonder where we will be walking next year

For our beautiful baby girl

In her memory

In her honour

With all our love

I wonder where and how we will walk next year?